So my children are 10 and 7 and from literally halfway through my 2nd pregnancy I have very firmly been in the "I'm well and truly done" club.
Both my pregnancies were hard on me with lots of complications towards the end and both kids have some minor additional needs which any future children also have a high chance of inheriting.
However it's like overnight I've changed my mind and I can't think of much else except the possibility of falling pregnant again and adding to our family.
My husband is surprised but supportive if I really want this.
There are so many negatives (I'm much older, financial, worst possible timing, starting to get some independence back as the kids get older) but I just can't shake the feeling... can anyone relate and maybe help me sort these conflicting thoughts in my head?
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5 Replies
FOMO. I've felt this at times. I'd definitely regret it if I added another child to the mix though. The fact you were done for 7.5 years indicates this is a reaction to that stage being over or something else.
I felt like that this for 6 months when I was 45 🤣
Give yourself some time, to see if the feelings go.
As you get older your hormones can kick into overdrive for a bit.
Go for it! I thought the same after my 3rd but now she’s older I would have loved one more but it’s too late for me now, I’m too old. Go for it!
This was me! My first two were well and truly it after terrible pregnancies that ended in the babies being born prematurely.
Then all of a sudden out of nowhere I felt the need for a third, husband was shocked but supportive. We tried for a few months then thought “what the heck are we doing we were done”. Stopped trying for a year and the feeling didn’t go away. We now have three children and when number three was born I knew I was properly done. Like it was a completely different done feeling that the earlier I’m done. Not sure how to explain that any better because I was done done but apparently I wasn’t!
That third and final was exactly what our family needed. The older children loved the third the second they met her and have included her in absolutely everything. They are now 18, 16 and 8 years of age and are all best mates and have the most beautiful sibling-ships
10/10 would recommend 🙂
My sister and I have a gap of 15 years.
I can imagine it will be a lot easier for you this time around with the big gap. I was able to help my parents with my sister.
I think all you can do is write down pro's and cons and see how it works for you and hubby and even speak with your kids and what they think about it.
If you're still worried, give it some time and see how you feel in a few months.