Stuck in the middle of adult friendships

Anon Imperfect Mum

Stuck in the middle of adult friendships

I have 2 good friends, one I'm super close too, let's call her Bec. been friends for decades, our kids all grew up together. She is by far my best mate and have that , go with out seeing each other for months and things just continue to go on as always. I can honestly say, we have never had a fight. I made another friend a couple of years back, she will be Niki, and I introduced them and they hit it off well. I really like this woman, but she's not what I call a best friend, she is just a friend. We all have lunch dates every so often, hang out and have a drink here and there. We are all single mum's and have alot in common. But out of the blue, Bec is showing jealousy iv never seen befor. Niki often has lunch, dinners with her best friend, Lora. They post on face book and you can see them having so much fun. Me, I'm like meh! I'm happy having one friend I'm super close with and not fazed by not being invited, but Bec has really taken it to heart in a manner I find a little strange, it's like she hates Lora for not inviting "us", yes me included. She's become obsessed with being left out and I don't know how to approach it. She's so worked up about it. Bec has several other friends who she will hang out with almost daily, she's never been one to feel that a non invite means not liked. Iv gotten to the point that if I have a random play date with Niki, I have to keep it secret as Bec gets so upset. Niki is beginning to pick up on it all witch has put a bit of a strain on my friendships with them both, as Niki has anxiaty, and is paranoid about people hating her or talking about her. I'm stuck in the middle. I don't know what to do

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3 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

Something is going on with Bec. Is something else going on in her life? You need to pull her up on her behaviour and Point out that she is being ridiculous and that everyone is entitled to have many friendships. Don’t placate her.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Bec sounds like she has a fear of rejection and doesn't take it very well. Would it be safe to say something has happened to her in the past, maybe a parent rejected her or husband cheated? These things can make us really sensitive or really resilient. I think I would just let this be a Bec problem, keep balancing her claims with reality, " She still hangs out with us. Don't forget you have other friends too". You shouldn't have to hide friendships because of her insecurities either, live your life the way you always have done.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Just speak to her openly about but it stick to the friend who was there first. It’s childish and she needs to grow up.

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