Seeking objective opinions. My partner has been away for four days working, while he was away I mowed the grass - I rarely do it but enjoy it, the grass was long and we had rain coming. I thought it was a good thing to do, one less job for him when he got home. The mower wouldn’t start and I got my dad out to help me start it, no biggie, I didn’t call the partner because I knew he was flat out and this was meant to be a bit of a surprise ..... boy was I wrong. He has come home, saw the grass, demanded to know how I started the mower (told him) and he’s yelled at me, said people should leave things alone, I should have asked him and now the mower is probably going to have more problems etc, (dad is a mechanic, the partner is a similar trade, they get along) then he criticized me for the dogs digging a couple of holes while he was away. I was shocked and hurt, I burst into tears. He walked away and and continued watching his YouTube videos. WTF?
Edit: To answer a question - unfortunately yes this can be a response I get. It’s usually out of the blue and aggressive. He’s good (over the top good) for a few months then BAM..... I’m exhausted and heart broken and I feel just sick to my stomach.
18 Replies
I think your partner acted like a tool 🙄 what a crappy way to talk to someone for getting out and helping around the place. Sorry but I can’t even think of one reason why his behaviour would be considered acceptable to anyone. What an ass! And to know you’re upset and not seem to care? Yeah pass.
Hope you’re feeling less upset soon ❤️
Tell him to pull his head out of his arse. What an ungrateful tool.
Me?
I'd tell him to stick his fucked non-starting mower up his ass since it's going to be MORE fucked because hands other than his dared to touch it rendering it no more useful than a big, dirty butt plug.
Then I'd buy myself my own mower. One that does start.
As for the dogs, I'm sure they dig little holes whether he's home or not. He's just being a cock.
Is this a standard kind of response from him? If not I’d say there is far more going on here than you fixing the mower behind his back. And you need to get to the bottom of it.
What an asshat
Some people don’t cope well when they realise you don’t actually need them!
You showed you could manage on your own.
This is not ok.
Do you think he has anxiety and has over reacted thinking his father in law will judge him for not being on top of things himself?
This was the case with my husbands outbursts. I should note he was later diagnosed with depression and anxiety. After a very good conversation I asked politely that he pull his head in and just say thank you and accept the help 👍
Was it overcome? If so how? My partner is aggressive too and I believe he has anxiety. He has tried 1 lot of medication it made him feel crap so he's never bothered to try any others. He is a wonderful person if he can get his aggression under control
I’m so sorry 😥 for my husband he had to absolutely hit rock bottom first before he sought help. After seeing his psychologist for a long time, and only then did we have those very frank conversations 😥
Edit to add: those outbursts were very frequent and over the smallest things also.
Thanks for your reply :)
What a pig! Hates being shown up by a woman who can go the job.
If this happens every so often and out of the blue, and never happened in the earlier years of your relationship, watch for possible signs of depression or drug taking.
I go through the exact same thing with my partner. He gets so angry and swears over nothing.but like you he's good is over the top but his aggression gets the better of be at times
Is he often away for a few days coinciding with his outbursts? Cause it straight away reminded me of my ex. While he didnt go away for more then a night, if he came home and went off over something so trivial I knew he had been on ice. My ex was a pot user, who low key resented me for not letting him have an ice addiction too (I never stopped him - i just told him if he was on it he would lose his his kids because I'd walk). And don't get me wrong, my ex was also extremely violent and abusive but he was able to hide it in front of people, unless he had recently had ice, then he literally couldn't stop himself. I hope for your sake it's nothing like this, just giving my honest first thought. Big hugs OP x
Massive over reaction on his behalf, that said my hubby gets his knickers in a twist when i do things like the lawn, it's like i have crossed an invisible line that makes him feel bad that it's not good enough or some crap. I however am very bossy and do not get told what to do , so continue to do said lawn and told him it would be great to get more familiar with the washing mashing as neither appliance has a gender preference and all jobs have to be done
Just saying.. if my partner starts a random fight with me over nothing, it’s always because he’s feeling guilty about something else. I would be finding out what he got up to while he was away.