My 10 year old son is struggling!
He is hormonal, angry, lashing out, arguing and above all the attitude, omg the attitude!
I realise this can be normal for his age. A lot of it I believe is stemming from his teacher.. a few incidents here and there and now he has zero respect for her (or anyone it seems) and in general is just lashing out and in turn getting in more trouble! It's not only at school but very much so (if not more so) at home!
We are trying everything from punishments, love and support, calmly trying to speak about respect and appropriate behaviour, how to handle these situations, different outlets from physical to emotional (diaries etc).
We are literally out of ideas on how to support him and deal with this. He was always such a good kid, we were always praised for this and now he is getting in trouble at school. We don't want to change schools as we believe he needs to learn how to deal with this (there will always be a teacher or authority he doesn't get on with in life)
I dont want to medicate him but I am open to natural approaches (vitamins etc) and any advise anyone has to offer!
Please help!! ðŸ˜
Help! My 10 year old son is going through intense behavioural issues
Help! My 10 year old son is going through intense behavioural issues
Posted in:
Mental Health, Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour, Kids
6 Replies
GP. Mental health referral. Child psychologist
As the above said, but I’d also get a referral to a paediatrician too. Things usually don’t go off the rails this dramatically because of one bad teacher.
Make sure you rule everything out.
Actually they can go off the rails from one bad teacher, especially when you throw in the mix of huge hormonal changes starting. Kids are with their teachers for 7hrs everyday, these days with parents working full time slot of then spend more hrs a day with teachers then parents. One teacher who belittles confidence,doesn't listen is quick to discipline but not positively acknowledge good behaviours, have a massive impact on kids especially at this age. Have you ever seen those stories about how someone just had that one absolute favourite/amazing teacher that helped them so much and encouraged and inspired them to greater things and they remember them forever?? The same thing can happen with disengaged, not so good teacher, what they do and say, how they react all has an enormous impact on the kids and yes they can cause them to lose confidence,lose hope and give up. It's learning to deal with these kinds of teachers as a parent and the child is what is going to make the difference here
Yes, a child psychologist helped my 10 year old a lot. He's a different kid these days.
There’s a few points I’d like to make about this...
1. Fight, flight or freeze is a persons response to stress etc. I have one daughter that breaks down and hides and my other daughters hackles raise and she starts fighting.
Both responses are from the same emotion - just expressed differently. Anger doesn’t always mean defiance and she needs time alone to calm before trying to reason with her or explain why, just as my other daughter does when she’s hysterically crying. I give her options - she can scream into a pillow, have a bath or talk about it. Then once she’s calmed we talk, she is now starting to notice when the feeling comes what helps settle her - rather then an explosion.
2. I thought ‘they need to learn to get used to people they don’t get along with’ etc with my daughter... until her psych said to me ‘but she has you advocating for her, and yes, there will come a time she can deal with different people, but right now isn’t that time’. Who knows, next year she may handle it all, but for now - you can trust your gut and advocate. I did, we move teachers and honestly sooooooo much better. I couldn’t image how badly she would have been if she stayed
My son was like this age 10-11 ish he’s nearly 13 and much better now. It was awful at the time