So my son who is 15 months is screaming down the house nearly everyday, I believe that he might have autism im getting him tested in 2 months but whenever he screams he'll do it while either in his cot when he's in time-out, when he's getting told no or just out of nowhere and he'll laugh about it which gets me very mad to the point where I just wanna yell at him or scream at him, there's been times when I had the thought of hurting my own child but I don't, im a single mother who never gets a break and if I do its once or twice every 5-7 months, I feel very extremely emotionally and physically tired and I don't know what to do, is there anyway I can control my son when it comes to screaming so I don't have to stress no more???
10 Replies
Get yourself some ear plugs or something if it's causing that much sensory overload for yourself, there are earplugs that filter or dampen some noises while allowing you to still hear what is going on around you. Figure out the cause of the screaming, all behaviour is communication; is he overwhelmed, tired, in pain, hungry, needing stimulation? Some kids scream to stim, so you may not be able to stop the behaviour, but by reducing the sensory load on yourself it will help you get through.
My DS has ASD. He used to squeal. To the point I couldn't take him anywhere.
A psych who we know (very well known for autism) heard it & told us to ignore it. Don't respond. Don't show that you've even heard it. Talk, act, react as though it is not reaching your ears. It's tough but you can do it.
It worked. he wasn't getting any input from doing it because it was no one else heard it. Took about two weeks and stopped completely.
Can Autism even be diagnosed as early as 15 months? It's unlikely that if that's the only thing that's happening
No.
Just ignore him, be tough on him and don’t react to him. He will soon give up you just have to persevere and not feel bad for it. He is too you for that diagnosis. He doesn’t understand what he is doing. Close his bedroom door and walk away or leave him in his cot if you feel you may hurt him. If you get so bad ring 000 and tell them and they will send some help for you just don’t hurt him.
Ignore it.
Giving a reaction, will just encourage the behaviour.
Timeout as a discipline isn't going to work on babies. Time out at this age is more for you.
Safety wise, if you ever feel like you want to harm your child, the safest spot is putting him in his cot and walking away to collect yourself. Make a phone call to your GP, to a trusted family member, a neighbour, a friend and ask them to come over. If it is an emergency, 000. If you need a break, think about putting him into childcare, he might enjoy the toddlers room and it might be a great opportunity for you to have the breathing space. It is expensive but worth it if you can get a spot.
Look into playgroup too. This helps with their motor skills and social development. You also meet other parents and develop mum friends.
Distraction also helps. So getting outside whenever possible is a good idea. Being inside with a screeching toddler can be harder to manage than a screeching toddler outside. So invest in outside play as much as possible.
Like everyone has said, ignore negative behaviours but if it's absolutely a matter of you don't want him to touching something, physically remove him saying "no, not touching the dvds" or he is overly friendly with the cat "no, leave the cat alone." Then move him to somewhere like his playing space, with his toys. It gives him the message that I might not be allowed to touch the cat but I am allowed to play with my...
You'll get through it.
15 months is the worst time for tantrums. Little people are learning about the world around them and when they can't talk, their only communication is to cry/scream/throw themselves/bang on walls. Screaming a is a big sign of frustration.
Maybe some baby sign language could help? It's simple to learn and can help your little person to communicate
You know the rational front part of your brain that helps you think logically? Its called the frontal cortex and toddlers ones are still developing. They aren't able to calm themselves or self regulate. They need our help for that.
I would suggest not doing time outs, as it won't be helping. (Unless you are getting to the point where you are feeling like you just need a break then there is nothing wrong with you putting him somewhere safe for a couple of mins to take a breath)
There are alot of really amazing neurosciencists who have done extensive research on babies brains and I find it helped me to understand more about their development.
On a side note, it must be extremely tough being a single mum, its not something I have experienced. But being a parent in any circumstance is tough and it sounds like you need a break. I would also look into postnatal depression, it sounds like you tick some of those boxes as well.
Good on you for reaching out, I hope things get better x
Seriously if you are anywhere near Penrith NSW I would be more than happy to take him for an hour or 2, even longer here and there so you can have some time to yourself without having to pay for it. I have 5 kids myself, youngest is now 10. Please comment here if I can help 💖
I have to agree with the comment around time out..babies are too young for this and need time in/with...I totally get how overwhelmed you are and if you could give yourself some time out it might be helpful to regroup and come back to your baby rested...please please look at finding a service that run Circle of Security programs..most run them for free and I would encourage all parents struggling or not to do the program..its a lovely way to learn how to better connect and understand your child💜best of luck Mumma💙