My ex and I were together for over 20yrs, it was a very abusive relationship, but for the sake of our kids I tried to make it work again but I knew it wasn’t for me. Old habits don’t die... anyways long story short, I ended up Falling pregnant when we were together and opted for a termination at 5weeks pregnant. I felt trapped at the time and knew this wouldn’t be something I could do another time with him.
I have now moved on, and he is now calling me a murderer and our children will never look at me the same way once they know what I’ve done. He is manipulating the kids in so many ways.
He is threatening to tell everyone what I did.
My family is very anti-abortion, and it wasn’t a decision I took lightly.
I feel sick and to an extent guilty.
I just need some support, and not sure where to turn.
Does anyone know any support groups I could be involved in. Because right now I just feel like the worst human on this planet.
3 Replies
Mumma, you are not the worst human on the planet. Your ex is fighting for that title!
I know this is tiny snapshot of your world, but if your family are so judgemental and they would rather you stayed in a an abusive relationship, they wouldn't be a family I'd want to be involved in. Time to find your own tribe.
If this looser ex is all talk, then ignore him. If you truly think he will 'go public', then beat him to it. Tell your friends and family of his abuse and the choices you made to survive.
Take your power back. He only has control because he is controlling the information. Stop protecting him. Tell your story loudly and clearly. Tell the truth about his ongoing behaviour. Once he's 'outed' he looses his power.
One of my few regrets in life, that I didn't 'go public' with the mess that was my relationship. He never took responsibility for any fall-out and I allowed it.
If you can find the courage, 'out' him. You shouldn't be surprised when your friends support you. They are just waiting for you to give them permission to join your team. Allow them. Don't allow him. Good luck.
OMG you poor thing..you did the best thing for you and your family at the time and I have know dought you didn't make the decision lightly...sometimes we have to make hard decisions get through...how bloody awful of him to make you feel this way..please get support and possibly counselling around this 💜
You did what was right. I was in a similar situation with my very manipulative ex. I had a termination cause there was no way I could raise a child in an environment where neither of us would have been safe from his abuse and manipulations. I was honest with my family about what was going on they my not have agreed with it but realised it was for my own safety in the long run. I got my stuff together and walked away and didn't look back even when he tried to manipulate his way back into my life.