This is absolutely not a complaint just to begin with lol.
I have an almost 15 year old son who is uncharacteristically sensible and mature for a teenaged boy. He has a very innate sense of right and wrong, he's very aware of rules and why we have them, he's very rational, considerate, empathetic and respectful. He really takes pride in being responsible. I wish I could take the credit for it with my excellent parenting but he was just born this way (and I have two other kids who are pretty wild so 🤷♀️😂).
Lately, he has been feeling a bit frustrated every time he hangs out with his mates. He often feels like he's babysitting them!
This sort of thing happens a lot but I'll give you yesterday for one example: My son and about 5 of his mates went to the the movies, he spent the whole time telling them to be quiet, to stop throwing popcorn around, to sit down and stop running around the aisles because they were bothering people, to stop swearing and talking inappropriately because there was heaps of young kids within earshot (It was a family movie and it's school hols here currently).
They then went to McDonald's afterwards where the same sort of behaviour continued, they made a huge mess, threw their pickles on the ceiling, mucked around with the wet floor sign, went out and took over the playground which is when they were asked to leave. My son was very embarrased and apologetic to the parents and staff that his mates pissed off.
He was exhausted when he got home.
They've all planned to meet up at the local shopping centre this week, then head to the local basketball court after. My son is adamant that he won't go and he said he doesn't want to hang out with them outside of school again.
I can certainly understand why he feels this way but my son also has a slight tendency to isolate himself a bit so I don't want him alienating himself from his friends.
I guess I'm asking how to best support my son through this until his friends catch up in maturity. This isn't exactly a teenager issue I anticipated!
5 Replies
Time to branch out and find other friends. Organised hobbies so there's a coach that keeps them in line. One on one hangouts as they'll behave differently and he has more sway when he doesnt encourage it.
Maybe see if he can find some female friends? It’s proven that girls mature faster than boys so that might help?
That's not normal teenage behaviour, all three of mine have been able to go out at that age and not act like that. I would say there's one in the group with no impulse control and the rest follow, I would stop him hanging out with them as a group and just stick to outings to one or two other kids that can behave themselves when out.
Your son is making the smart decision. Guilt by association is a thing. Let your boy separate himself before he finds himself in a lot of trouble and a ruined reputation.
His friends are not displaying normal teenage behaviour.Let him distance himself from this lot and he will soon find likeminded friends. I know him isolating himself feels like a big deal to you now but respect his choices and let him find his own way and his own friends.