I have decided I want another baby after previously being a "one and done" mother. I did have a lot of trouble conceiving and as a result have a 3-month-old at 32. Because I'm not in my 20's, and because I want to keep achieving in my career I would like to have my next baby asap. (Yes I know 32 isn't that old).
I know that the advice is to wait 6 months (at least) and I know that the comments here will be to speak with my GP, BUT I am wanting to hear from ppl who have had two under two, and those who have become pregnant again before their first baby is 6 months old. Good and bad stories welcome. I would especially love to hear from mums who have had two c-sections within 3 years.
Due to my previous reproductive challenges, it may not even be possible - but 🤷🏿‍♀️.
Thank you.
11 Replies
I have 2 which are 1year apart and I love it. They are great mates. I have a 2, 3and 7 year gap so I’ve seen the difference. I definitely would advocate for it. Both natural births though sorry so no advice there.
My mum had two under two. It almost broke her. It wasn’t enjoyable. She got through it but that’s what it was for her.
We don’t get on as siblings at all.
My kids have an 18 - 20 month age gap (4 kids - eldest is 6, youngest is 16 months). It can be chaotic but I love it. The first 12 months is definitely the hardest juggling a young toddler and a baby. The older they get though the closer they are getting and the more they play with each other. My first two in particular are very closer and people often mistake them for twins.
I’m also from a family with 4 kids close in age and we’re all still close and it’s great all going through life experiences (study/work/marriage/babies) at similar times.
Mine were all born naturally so I can’t help you with that part though sorry
I had 2 under 2, then 3 under 3 and 4 under 4. It's hard work but theres pros -
you're out of the baby stage much quicker than bigger age gaps.
Your kids have a great bond when they are close in age. My kids are older now and yes they fought when young but they're all best mates now and hang out with each other. My neices who are close together are the same.
They grow up in the same age group so outings and holidays are easier, you don't need to think what would suit a younger child and an older child.
They entertain each other. This happens with bigger age gaps too but I think they play together longer when they are closer in age or one gets bored.
Good luck with it all, I hope you don't have as much trouble the second time around.
Ours are 14 months apart in age
Now 10yrs and 11yrs.
We chose to do this
We do not have family in the same state, figured we would get through stages at the same time roughly.
Our boy is older
Our girl has hit most stages either at same time or before our boy
We found it easier then others around us.
But we also knew it was only us to rely on.
The trickiest bit was in Hospital, he had only been walking a week, his bumbling body was heart attack material in a public hospital.
She is taller then him so people now think they are twins.
I had 3 under 3, there's definitely pros of getting everything out of the way at once but I will say having babies close in age is not for the faint of heart!
It is hard work.
At one stage I had 2 kids teething at once, I had 3 kids in nappies for a a bit, I had a new born and two in that "terrible 2s" phase, the two seater pram was the bane of my existence for a while, going anywhere alone with 3 kids under 3 - forget it! The sleep deprivation was like nothing I've ever experienced either.
I also feel a bit robbed if that's the right way to describe it. I didn't get to enjoy that baby stage with each of my kid's as much as I'd have liked to, frankly I was in survival mode until my oldest started kindy.
Mine are all teens now, which also has it's challenges (3 kids going through puberty at once has been eye opening and patience testing to say the least lol).
In saying that, my 3 are all thick as thieves. They do have a really nice bond, even though they can fight like the best of them.
The advice is physical/medical... Not whether the kids get along. A friend of mine fell pregnant 4 months after a C section unintentionally. Her uteran wall hadn't recovered fully and it burst when she was 36 weeks. She almost died, the baby almost died too. The only reason she didn't us because she was in the maternity ward if the private hospital her obstetrician worked in visiting her sister who had a baby the day prior. So medical intervention was as immediate as it could be. Her husband was told it was unlikely she or the baby would survive but they were doing what they could. Thankfully she lived, however, her baby suffered significant complications. Her doctor was even monitoring for risk given the timing of the second pregnancy.
Yes I did. I wanted them close. It was amazing the bond my kids had at young ages. Go for it
Our babies are 2 years and 2 months apart.
It has been a great gap for us as my first was talking and understood that I needed to take care of the baby before I could help him. He is the best big brother and now at 3.5 and 18 months they play together so well.
I had an emergency csection first and then a scheduled csection. I would definitely suggest having your partner or another support person with you for the first 2/4 weeks. My Husband had 4 weeks off and it was a godsend. He did everything for our 2year old, all the cooking and all the house duties while I just had to concentrate on our baby and healing.
I found my second Csection recovery was a lot harder than my first as I had lots of scar tissue and adhesions from my emergency csection. I also had horrible buring nerve pain on both side of my lower stomach.
I took us 6 years to conceive our first but our second was conceived after only 2 months of TTC
It’s hard when they are young but at age 5 & 6 they are great.
I had my second when my eldest was 15 months and my third when the second was 13 months (so 3 under 2.5) all by Caesarian (first one was emergency after 25 hour labour, other 2 were elective as they didn’t want my scar to rupture if I went into labour)
Honestly as far as the kids go it was good - they were good babies who slept and fed well so managing that was quite ok. The physical aspect however was brutal. My dr told me when I went under the knife for the 3rd time that my previous scar has started to separate and if I were to have another child it could rupture while I was pregnant endangering my life as well as the baby’s. I was also in my mid-late 20’s when I had my girls so a bit younger.
They are now older (12, 11, 10) and the age gap has been great and they are super close.
So pros and cons (like everything else I guess!)