’ve got a 4yr old daughter. I had 3 losses prior to my daughter. I struggled mentally after having my daughter. I do have depression and anxiety.
Part of my wants a 2nd child and part of me is content with just the 1. My husband and daughter want me to have another baby but I’m just not sure. My husband works away every 2nd week so I’m on my own with my daughter.
I’m 37 and morbidly obese and have struggled to fall pregnant for the last few months (we were trying)
My question is has anyone had a 2nd child and regretted it? And not coped?
I’m scared as hell to have a 2nd child but I do want another.
I am going to start seeing a counselor.
7 Replies
I LOVE my second, adore them. However, if I had my time again I honestly would not have gone for a 2nd.
My mental health turned to crap, majorly, I didn't cope, my other child didn't/still doesn't cope. My first needs a lot of attention (extra needs) and I am not able to focus on them as much as I need to. And then my second misses out.
I don't regret it but if I knew I would become a single mum with 2 kids I never would have had her.
I never regretted NOT having a second child. I did want one, but knew deep down the supports weren’t in place for me to cope in a healthy way.
I also don’t regret not having a second child.
I had my first daughter 12 years ago and then lost 2 babies, went on to have another baby, I too am very overweight and ended up extremely unwell during pregnancy with severe pre eclampsia and hellp syndrome on hospital bed rest and an emergency c section at 31 weeks, with baby then needing a 12 week Nicu stay and coming home on oxygen and a feeding tube. Believe me we love her to absolute pieces but this has seriously impacted my mental and physical health and the thought of having another baby and doing this again almost makes me physically sick. I simply don’t think I would cope.
I strongly believe my weight was the reason behind the issues and hold it against myself that my baby has been through so much because of me. It’s not a fun place to be.
Not all pregnancies and children are the same. I suffered pnd with my first, had our second as they were always part of our plan and it was a completely different experience.
Our eldest was diagnosed with an auto immune disease and other behavioural issues when she was 4. I tossed up whether to have a third, and again we had a completely different experience 🤗 all good in their own way, with some hiccups along the way. I just don’t want you to think the worst, that you’ll struggle again because you really don’t know until you’re there. Big hugs x
I now have an 8 year old and nearly 1 year old. After my first i had an ectopic and lost a tube nearly losing my life after 12 months, we tried again and had a miscarriage another year passed and we tried again and fell pregnant. I don't regret having my second he completes our family and my oldest loves him with all their heart. I was 35 when we finally had our double rainbow baby.
But in saying that you have to want another baby and if you are done you know your done. Maybe talk to your husband and make him aware of your concerns definately get some professional help if you need it hun good luck. Just remember it's your life you don't have to do anything to make someone else happy. X