Hi IM,s
Im in a bind and after some advice. Backstory is I am in a toxic job that has progressively destroyed me but i have stayed out of financial requirement. Recently an opportunity has presented itself for me to have an actual active career, in a purposeful, moral and meaningful position. I desperately want to go down this path for many reasons. My conundrum is..I currently work from home and my position allows a great deal of flexibility regarding care for my almost 13 yr old twins..school drop offs/pick ups etc. This new position would not, for the foreseeable future. I have a good supportive husband but his position also has the same requirements. We have no family support and little Miss and Mr are due to start highschool this year, therefore have aged out of before school care. I guess my question is..what do other people in this position do for their children? Are they too young to leave at home to eat breakfast, get ready for school and jump on the bus? Is there some.other form of care for older children? Noting they both have mobile phones but this is new territory for me. Any advice would me highly appreciated.
7 Replies
They are a good age to leave at home to do things themselves. You could help prepare some things for their lunches to make sure they take food or arrange for them to have money to buy lunch at school. My only worry would be the school bus. How far is school from home? Can they walk or is the bus the only option. You could also organise to pay someone local and trustworthy to do drop off and pick up for them. They both have phones and can communicate and 13 is a good age to teach them these responsibilities. Once they get used to school, you will find many kids in the same position. I would at least be there for their first week then organise something for them after that.
They are definitely old enough to get themselves ready and on the bus. Other options include dropping them whenever you go and letting them wait there, or even ordering a taxi, something I’m considering for my kids who are too young to get the bus as it would work out cheaper than oosh.
Yes, they are old enough to get themselves ready, and to school, and home again and be on there own for a few hours both morning and after school.
13 is fine to have them ride the bike/take a bus etc to school as long as they are level headed, trustworthy and have some awareness of their surroundings for safety. My kids are ADHD- they would concern me if they don't get better at some of this by then. But lots of other kids I know that age are absolutely fine.
My kids started walking to and from school when they started high school at not quite 12. We live down the road from the primary and high school, so there are plenty of other kids that walk past our house. Once they turned 12 I started leaving them home alone for short periods of time to get them used to being more independent. My kids are now 16 and 14 and I often leave them home alone all day while I’m at work in the school holidays. I still check in on them during my lunch break and call as I’m leaving work, so they know I’m on my way home. My 16 has been getting himself to his after school orchestra rehearsals for the past 2 years. He walks to the train station and catches the train, including changing trains on the way. Before that it was at the primary school next door to the high school. These holidays he’s also been getting himself to and from work, depending on what shifts he’s doing. I pick him up if he finishes after dark, but if it’s a day shift and I’m working he catches the bus. I don’t know about other states, but in Qld kids can be left unsupervised from 12. In hindsight, you could have been slowly starting to build their independence over the past 12 months while you’ve been working from home. If they are generally fairly responsible kids, they should be fine. See if you can delay starting the new job for a month or so, so you can build some independence and get them used to doing things for themselves. Make sure they are aware of the rules, eg no friends over when you aren’t home, send a text message so you know they’ve arrived at school in the morning and arrived home after school.
Leaving a child Under 12 is not illegal in Qld, only if left for an unreasonable amount of time without making reasonable provisions of care. Getting to school or staying home for an hour isn’t unreasonable - depending on the specific child’s situation, confidence and capability.
Yep. So much misinformation. It leads to parents being judged unfairly