My husband and I are at a complete loss. Our 7 year old son is exhausting. We are both burnt out and find most of the time parenting to be really challenging. About a year ago we ended up having him tested for ASD and ADHD. He showed as ADHD at home but not at school (so not diagnosed), and he was just shy of being diagnosed with ASD. We love our son with every fibre of our being, but we are so tired of everything being so hard. I have a background in social work and we are seeing a psychologist and OT, we have worked really hard this past year on some attachment trauma, which we have seen progress in that area, but everything else has been getting worse. We have no friends or family that live close that can offer any breaks, my husband works 60+ hours a week and I have several disabilities. Our capacity is at its limit and we know we need more help, but we have no idea who or where. Do we push for ASD? I’ve been trying to keep him from that as once he has that label it sticks, but I know he needs extra help. When I see other kids with ASD and ADHD I see so many similarities between them and my son, just different levels/severities. I know parenting is hard work, but I don’t think it should be this hard. I feel like we are failing him, but whatever we give is never enough. And now both my husband and I are running on empty and have been for so long, we are both suffering physically and mentally now. Any advice would be so appreciated. He has a pediatrician who we are booking in to see in a few months (wait list).
From a sad and desperate mumma
What do we do, desperate for help with our 7yo
What do we do, desperate for help with our 7yo
Posted in:
Kids, Aspergers & Autism
3 Replies
The thing is lots of things can cause the same ‘looking’ kids as ASD, that’s why you really do want diagnosis to be correct. You mentioned trauma and you also mentioned anxiety or being able to hold it together in external environments.
I would choose a great psych, and a great paed, and keep working with them. I doubt either just wiped their hands after obs and said case closed. The work and help happens to help the kid with their specific needs, regardless of the diagnosis. It might be time for some medication if the child’s ability to cope with daily life is that bad.
The only thing a diagnosis helps with in school is funding, switch your focus to helping your child and the psych will advocate for them at school, and schools can and should make adjustments that children need, if they ever need it anyway.
A behavioural therapist may be able to help. Good luck. It’s not easy on any level. It sounds like you’re trying your best for your little guy. I hope you find some much needed support soon. Is it an option to move closer to family?
While I think seeking out help for your child is important- I also thinking seeking help for yourself is also just as important.
You mention your own disabilities that hinder your ability to cope with your child’s behaviour.