My partner and I have been together coming up all together 8 years.
We have been very very on and off over those 8 years seeing other people in between etc but we have been together solid for a year now.
We have a almost 7 year old boy, it was all so fast, we were only together for 4 months before I fell pregnant and we always say we wouldn’t be together if we didn’t have our son.
We do so well as a family and a couple when we aren’t living together and I think that’s why we always got back together cause we craved each other when we were apart. But this year has been not so fun living together. We constantly fight over household chores, I feel like I do everything and everytime I ask if he can just do 1 thing a day like empty the dishwasher i get eye rolls and then it takes him 4 hours to do.
I clean houses for a living so the last thing I wanna do is come home and have to clean my own house but I do it and getting help from him is just in the too hard basket.
The last few months have probably been the worst, I’ve found myself talking to an old fling, nothing bad or anything just chatting about life and I sometimes just think how life would be so different if this fling went further back in the day and how happy I could be unlike now.
I don’t know, I feel trapped, everytime I try to get out of my relationship he turns around with the “I’m sorry, I want to spend my life with you, I’ll do better” but then better never comes.
I feel like I put on a smile everyday just to please my son and for him to have two parents together rather than living separately all the time.
And don’t even get me started on all our shares together that each other can’t pay one another out for. I constantly think I’ll never get out of this relationship because we both owe each other money etc that we both can’t pay for.
4 Replies
I didn’t read past the first paragraph ‘we always say we wouldn’t be together if we didn’t have our son’.
Personally regardless of anything else, that would be relationship over for me. Kids are not a reason to be unhappy. Happy parents help make happy kids
You sound like neither of you show the relationship much respect, both immature, and then you expect it to be good and when it’s not those feelings of it being actually dis functional or out of necessity come back to mind.
So any time it’s rocky, your mind is already out anyway. So yeah, not a stable foundation to build on. You can’t be together just because you have a ki, that’s a huge burden to put on your poor child.
Perhaps try to work out a living situation that works, where you can both get back to dating and try to build a stronger foundation this time. Make it the very last time, and I think you both need to stop joking about your relationship being shitty.
So much rambling.
I literally stopped reading.
Couples everyday with assets separate and divide their assets in an equitable way. Wow, you really haven't thought about your child over the years, breaking up, getting back together, even seeing people inbetween, how selfish, confusing and damaging. Grow up, both of you, split for good, stop talking to the other dude, both be single for a while and focus on coparenting your child. Stop doing what feels good in the moment and think about your child and how dare you use him as an excuse for this dysfunction. He would have been so much better off if you split when he was a baby for good and worked out a good custody agreement.