I dont know what to do here.
My ex and I have separated and he has decided to move state.
He did not tell me that he was moving and he did not say goodbye to our several children. I havent told them yet purely because I dont want to tell them and break their hearts just in case he impulsively comes back to our state.
He hasn't made any contact in over 2 weeks, my kids are feeling extremely abandoned. He won't talk to them, I dont know what to do. I'm torn between telling him that his kids deserve an explanation but I know that if he talks to them he will make promises that will get broken (this is based on history) or just continuing on with the no contact and telling them that their dad has chosen to leave. I dont tell them anything negative about their father other than the fact that his choices are his and the kids are not to blame. Cause as far as they are assuming right now, for 2 weeks their dad hasn't seen them or called them because he doesn't want to be their dad anymore (their words, not mine). I dont know what to do.
Child abandonment, I dont know what to do.
Child abandonment, I dont know what to do.
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Kids
4 Replies
I think the unknown is harder on them so I’d sit them down and let them know that dad has moved far away. I’d say you don’t know why, but he must have had a hard choice to make and that they do deserve better and you’re sorry he's not here but his choices are all about him, it’s definitely not because of them. Remind them that they have you and name the other family they can rely on, assure them you’ll always be there and you will always keep them safe and look after them.
Explain it to them in a gentle way and move on and enjoy your time with them. Stuff him! Go enjoy yourself and new adventures with your kids.
Age appropriate truth, tell them he has moved, you don't know when he will see or talk to them again and that's his choice and it is ok to feel sad or confused. Reinforce that locally they have lots of people who love and care for them.
I've been there, its not easy but kids are resilient and they will be ok.
I'd explain it to them in a kid friendly way.
This is something I am going through right now, my husband and I seperated 3 weeks ago and have been doing shared care, he showed up to school pick up last week with all our boys stuff packed in his car and told me "I can't do this anymore, you take him full time". Our boy is 6 and has autism.