This is probably more of a vent than a question but I am just so sick and tired of pre-teens and teens being so deliberately vile.
Since school started a month ago, my 11 year old has been told by a so called friend that she got really fat over the holidays (she hasn't even gone up a dress size in that time frame and she's a perfectly healthy size 10 in kid's clothes).
She's been on the receiving end of some horrible untrue rumours.
She's been physically threatened by a girl in her grade.
My older daughter who's in high school has been ridiculed openly in the classroom for being "dumb".
She's been excluded, tormented then pulled back in by some little bitches who claim to be her friends.
One of these girls sent her a string of abusive messages tonight telling her she was annoying, a mother fucker, retarded, a bitch, fuck off etc...
These messages were completely unprompted and out of left field.
That's literally just the tip of the iceberg too, I have too many more examples to list.
And it's not just my kids experiencing this either. All my friends kid's are dealing with this in some form, I'm in a few teen parenting facebook groups and this exact topic comes up multiple times a day.
I mean, what the fuck?!
I'm dealing with our current situations so I don't need advice on that front, I'm just tired.
I'm tired of there ALWAYS being some kind of issue. I would just like my kids, actually all kids to be able to exist in peace at school.
There's my rant of the day...
6 Replies
Wow I think your girls need to find new friends or new schools. I know kids can be bad but they can also be great. Keep on stepping in and handling those properly out of line, and I hope your kids have friends to help them through.
When I went to school it was actually the boys who were really nasty to me, even now in my 30s I still sometimes get flash backs :( some kids are just downright nasty. Keep being supportive and understanding. I fully believe the kids that bully are just really insecure themselves and they use everyone around them as an emotional punching bag
Same here!
The girls were bitchy which sucked but you could deal with that, the boys though were like a dog with a bone. They took great pleasure in torturing their victims relentlessly until they broke, it definitely still affects me to this day (I struggle to trust men as a result).
Those boys are still bullies today, one has a DV rap sheet a mile long. I think some bullies are just born sociopaths.
What I hate is the excuses, the lack of consequences and the repercussions for victims who speak up.
Last year my daughter was straight up being harassed by a boy in her class (grade 6). His mum died when he was a baby and he has some behavioural issues - that alone gave that kid far more leeway than any other kid in the class had. When I finally had a gut full and spoke to the teacher she actually said to me that they couldn't manage his behaviour and stop him doing the things he did, they could only mitigate the fall out after the fact. She then put the onus back onto my daughter to stay away from him and not do anything to him that might antagonise him, she didn't have to do anything to him and avoiding him in a 5x6 classroom was impossible.
That kid found out that we spoke to the teacher, he decided to kick his abuse up a notch there on out.
Schools say they have a zero bullying tolerance but it's all talk. I think anyone who's child has experienced bullying would agree.
I had a similar experience to your kids in high school. It was horrid, everyday was a struggle to keep moving forward. Mine came from a mix of boys and girls. A lot was sexual harassment.
At least in my day, we didn’t have tech to get harassed on at the end of the day, so you at least got some respite from the school day.
It must be hard to raise kids in the tech era.
Ok firstly get your kids off of any social media this is open acesss for bullying including phones.!! keep them right away from it. It’s asking for trouble. This kind of stuff is rife through texts and social media. If they can’t have access your kids they can’t hurt them. As for school you go into the principal and sort it out. Seek support at school until something is done but do not bring social media into it because this is a parenting issue. Block their numbers and only have family contacts that it. Keep them away from social media. Your girls will find the right friends and decent kids to be around. Get them to join some groups outside of school to make completely different friends. Put all reports in writing to the principal and deal with it with the school. I have recently been through a similar situation with my child but they do not have any contact with kids online or or phones. I won’t my allow kids to have phones or any of it for the sake of their mental health. They don’t need it. Their mental health is the most important thing. I contacted the school with my incident and held my child off of school until the matter what sorted out.stand firm in what outcome you expect with school and put it all in writing. If this doesn’t help then go to the education department but I’m sure the school will take the appropriate action needed.