Im 33 and have 2 kiddies, aged 9 and 7. I always said I would never have more kids. I was completely done, and enjoying the bits of freedom that come with school aged kids - if that's even a thing?! But now guess who is pregnant. Oh yes, I am, a complete surprise! I honestly don't know what to do!
Thanks to all those lovely hormones, and vivid dreams that come with pregnancy I am so clucky and maternal, and think I want to have a baby, but in the back of my mind I keep thinking, am I forgetting the storm and am just blinded by the rainbow?
I know no one can tell me what the answer is.... but how did you know what was the right option for you? What helped you make the decision?
Surprise pregnancy
Surprise pregnancy
Posted in:
Pregnancy
15 Replies
I just slept on it and knew. When I had a termination I just knew it was the right thing to do for my future (even though a hard decision to make). When I had the baby I just felt I wanted to and then had to get into the mindset of accepting the changes that meant. And after having kids, I knew what that meant and knew I could and wanted to. I was 35 and am now 40 and probably where you just were - starting to feel the freedom and the next phase of life. And I think it’s not a bad age. There’s no way I’d consider doing it now though! I think you will know. Whatever feels stronger, sit with that decision for a few nights and by then you’ll know.
Oh fuck. You poor thing.
No advice, but you have every right to feel whatever you are feeling
Looking back now I wish I had another one. I thought I was finished but once I got closer to 40 I regretted not having one more. Your kids are a great age which will be a big help if you decide to have this baby. Focus on the positive not the storms. If you are so clucky and maternal that is a good sign.
Not all older kids want to help with a baby. I was 10 when my little brother was born and I never helped or played with him. We still don't really talk much or get along actually.
I said they are at a great age which will be a big help as in do so much more for themselves and not so reliant on mum. I didn’t mean help with the baby as that’s the parents job.
Ah ok, sorry for reading it wrong.
Another one who has twisted the words. Why do people continue to do this on posts.
They've already apologised and acknowledged that they read it wrong, was this comment really necessary?
Before I did a pregnancy test with my fourth I was really anxious, I did not want another and hoped like hell that test was negative. When it turned positive I surprised myself because you couldn't wipe the smile from my face. It's not what I planned but somehow it's what I wanted. Before I had kids I had a termination and knew it was the right thing from the beginning. Trust your feelings, if it feels right everything will work out.
I know it's controversial but I wish I had stopped at 2. By my 30s I was high up in my career and then having another it really set me back and I had to start all over. My older kids no longer had the same opportunities and we weren't making as much and it was just harder all around. If I were you I wouldn't have the baby if you're at a good place in your life as kids get more expensive as they get older particularly teenagers who need phones and laptops etc and schooling gets more expensive. You'll have one in daycare, primary school and high school so 3 different places everyday and that's really hard. I wouldn't do it.
I had a termination a year ago-best decision I ever made. My friends have babies and when I watch them struggle, sleepless nights, cancel plans coz their babies need sleep, chase them when they constantly eating off the floor etc- I think thank god I’m not going through that again. I have all the time to spend on the kids I already have. I thought I could do another baby but watching them, nope, bugga that!
I could have written this myself 🙌
💗
This sounds like me I’m 34 I have a 12 and 9 year old and loved my little bits of freedom and self sufficient kidos sleeping through the night etc. and then surprise I was pregnant I struggled getting my head around it the entire pregnancy but he’s here now and I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did it’s crazy and yes you do forget about all the baby craziness sleepless nights teething but I wouldn’t change it now
I've just been I this position.
I was 39 had 5 kids. AGED 4, 9, 13, 19 AND 22 and then I fell on again.
Every single bone in my body said NO don't do it. That I wouldn't be able to cope mentally, emotionally or that my body physically qouldnt be able to handle another.
I made 2 telephone consultations for a termination and let both of them pass I as literally was so torn and could not decide 100% one way or the other. Well when I stared feeling flutters in my tummy there was only 1 decision and that was to keep going.
She's here now and she's 4 months old. And daily I struggle. Multiple times a week I think to myself this is the hardest thing I've done. 😪 I adore and live for all my kids, literally. I've been a mum since I was 16 and over the years sacrificed, friends, careers and hobby for them. I just exist as a parent that's it.
I guess your decision depends on how strong you are to go ahead. How much support you have whereas I have zero. No parents or grandparents etc.
Good luck darling x