Anyone just not want to be a mum anymore? It’s all too much and the kids are feral and the husband’s a jerk. Anyone fantasise about just walking away? Please don’t hate me. I won’t do it but damn do I want to.
Anyone just not want to be a mum anymore? It’s all too much and the kids are feral and the husband’s a jerk. Anyone fantasise about just walking away? Please don’t hate me. I won’t do it but damn do I want to.
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18 Replies
Do it.
Not forever or always obviously, but when is the last time you had a time out to recharge your batteries?
I've gone away at least twice a year since our son was born. His dad is more than capable of parenting for a night, a weekend, a week, as needed. He gets his time out trips too.
Go to the theatre, stay the night at a hotel, order room service.
Go to a concert. They're fewer than they were but they are coming back.
Go visit friends for a week.
Take a solo lunch at a fancy restaurant with excellent reviews.
Take an afternoon off and get a mani/pedi. Or a facial. Or a massage. Or all.
Get the kids out of the house and run yourself a hot bath with heaps of Epsom Salts thrown in.
There's so many self-care options for all budgets. Find the ones you like and get creative!
Op here. I just found your lovely reply. I do really need a break. I work damn hard for lazy husband to accuse me of mooching and “playing on your iPad all day.” I wish I could leave him to deal with it all and see how hard it really is but I’m not sure they’d survive the experience. He’s literally not spent one single night home with even one of the children without me
Yes this is normal. No none listens, you are exhausted and feel like crap. Then have the added stress of keeping the house hold running, feeding everyone, cleaning, running errands and everything else that goes with it.
You need to go away and spend a night or 2 with family or friends, have sometime out for you and your mental health. Time to relax and not think about doing everything for everyone else every 5 mins.
Maybe your husband is weighing you down. Making things worse. Make a list and work towards ticking them off one bu one. Get rid of the things that drag you down. Make another list of what you want to do and tick them off as you go.
Op here. I just found your lovely reply. I do really need a break. I work damn hard for lazy husband to accuse me of mooching and “playing on your iPad all day.” I wish I could leave him but I’m too exhausted surviving every day to come up with a plan to get us out safely. Maybe a small break alone to get some headspace would be good
I think we have all felt this once or twice before. I had the thought on the weekend, but damn the petrol prices stopped me haha.
Op here. Thanks for your reply! There’s always something that stops us isn’t there
Yep 🙋🏻♀️ 💯!!! I always say to my husband imagine if we didn’t have kids! House would be clean, we’d have so much money. There would be no fights/arguments. Friggin bliss. I just keep reminding myself they will one day grow up and move out 🤣. I have one child who is 13 who has adhd and ODD and she just makes life a living hell for all of us. I get no break. When I feel at the end of my tether i organise nights out with girlfriends and every now and then weekends away with girlfriends. I need to get away from the whole family situation and just be me. Chin up. This too shall pass.
Op here. I just found your lovely reply. I do really need a break. I work damn hard for lazy husband to accuse me of mooching and “playing on your iPad all day.” I wish I could leave. Special needs kids make it extra hard. Ours is the same
Oh, Mumma😢
Yes, yes, yes!
All the freaking time!
Please don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re alone.
I hate my partner. Can’t stand my kids 90+% of the time, because they act EXACTLY like him.
I can’t leave, because I know the kids wouldn’t be cared for with him, and I haven’t had a job in 10 years. I have no family or friends, so nobody to help me.
So yes! I fantasise about it ALL THE TIME.
Hugs to you. Xxx
Op here. I just found your lovely reply. I do really need a break. I work damn hard for lazy husband to accuse me of mooching and “playing on your iPad all day.” I wish I could leave. I’m so sorry you’re in the same boat
Yep , im sure we've all wished it more than once!
Hugs to you
Yes I do have u thought about just booking a trip away for yourself I went away with my soccer team (we went on a cruise and now I’m addicted to cruising safe to say I fell in love with cruises) back in 2017 left the Friday came back Monday it was great not having my son or partner around and not having anything to do with cleaning,planning meals for anything like that and I would really like to do it again but go away a day longer this time
OP here. I wish I had a friend so I could do something like that
There was a stage in my life where I just didn't want to be a mum anymore. I knew I loved them but it was just relentless pressure and doing it on my own. It got worse because then I felt guilty about those thoughts and started to think they deserved better. At times I was wishing their childhood away. I had to re-evaluate and make my own wellbeing a priority. It's not selfish to look after yourself. It's not selfish to take regular time out for you and spoil yourself with your favourite coffee or book. When we become mothers we often neglect our own needs. I had to learn the hard way that by looking after myself I was better able to look after them. It sounds like you need a break xx
Op here. I just found this post and your lovely reply. I do really need a break. I work damn hard for lazy husband to accuse me of mooching and “playing on your iPad all day.” I wish I could leave
Yep. This was me 12 months ago! I wished I had never become a mother. I asked my husband to leave due to his complete lack of support for me or the kids. He refused. So I told him to quit his job and look after the kids then and I would leave. He did. Boy does he have a whole new appreciation for the parenting role that he never fulfilled. And he only has them 50% of the time so it makes me realise how much stress and strain was lumped on my shoulders. It has also made me realise that my kids were never the problem. It was my selfish Arse husband who was 150% the problem every day of the week. I now love being a mother. I’m back at work. I’ve almost finished my study and I have balance back in my life without a selfish man-child sucking the life out of me. He has been forced to pull his weight and now he wishes he could go back.
OP Here. I wish I had the guts to do this. I’m proud of you and happy for you