I’m starting a new FIFO role next week, it’s a huge step forward in my career and the money would be life changing for my family.
BUT my partner & I just broke up after two years together. He’s not the father of my children, but he was meant to care for them 4 days a week, with my parents 1 day a week & the kids’ dad 2 days a week, while I’m away for 2 weeks at a time (2:1 roster).
Are there any single FIFO mums who make it work? Do I just need to cancel the job?
My world has just crumbled.
27 Replies
Can their Dad have them for the 2 weeks?
Unfortunately not, he works full time and won’t change that as he’d have no work for the week I’m home with the kids. He can have them for the weekends I’m away only, Friday - Sunday.
You forgot to Anon 😬
Can’t he use daycare so he can keep working? After school care etc?
If that’s not an option I don’t see FIFO working out.
It sucks, because if it was reversed of course you’d take the kids more.
He doesn’t live locally unfortunately so it just wouldn’t work, unless he stayed in my house but I’m 100% not comfortable with that.
It really sucks. I’ve struggled with my mental health for so long, things were finally falling into place & then BOOM. Total destruction.
I resigned from my old job last week too. I’m really screwed now. My poor babies - I was trying to make things better for them but I’ve just made it all so much worse
Just let him stay in your house. He won’t be there.
Could you afford a nanny or an aupair during your on week?
Failing that, unfortunately I can't see a way for you to make it work.
I don’t think it would work, the extra money I’d earn being away would go to the nanny, so I may as well stay here and be with my kids myself.
I think you need to cancel the job :( I don't see how you can make that work and I say this as a single working mum (not FIFO). It's hard enough working a 9-5 on my own, I could never do a FIFO
I’m struggling to see any other option too. I’ve managed to lose my love, my career & my children’s stable financial future literally overnight.
I'm so sorry 😞 I really feel for you
Let your ex stay in your house. You were together once and made 2 kids. You won’t be there, just ask him to sleep in another room. Lock things away that you don’t want him seeing.
Sorry just read about your break up so you have other reasons why. How crap for you.
If you and your ex (not the kids dad) are amicable and it's safe, would he have them for any days? Are your parents able to have them for any longer? Any other family or friends. Maybe they could stay at yours, saves your kids moving houses? I know that seems messy but it takes a village to raise children and it seems like your kids would be okay with the change if it was happening anyway. Otherwise, the nanny or aupair is a really good idea. All the best to you in your future endeavours, whatever you choose x
Unfortunately it wouldn’t be safe to leave the kids with my ex, given the circumstances that we broke up over. I feel like my entire world has collapsed under my feet, just when it was getting good.
I am so sorry 😞 the only other thing I can think of, is it possible to take them with you and live closer to your work for a time? Fly them back to dad every few weeks? I'm unsure about the logistics of FIFO work so I understand what I'm suggested may be absolutely outlandish
I thought the same some people live local. But some people live close but can't leave camp until their swing is over. Depends. Can always check would be the best of both worlds.
Why can't their father have them live with him and you work out how to visit them on your week off? It's not going to work if you think you will be the primary carer with a 2/1 roster. If you are serious about the job then he will need to be primary carer, settle the kids in his area and use daycare/babysitters like every other working parent does. Leaving them with anyone else means you are still primary carer and you will be responsible if your kids carer gets sick, has an emergency or just quits. You can't just rush home from the mines to look after your kids like a normal job, you won't have a job for long if you can't commit to those 2 weeks without wanting time off.
Hey mate. This a really hard situation. But I don't see a way to make this work unless you give custody to their bio dad. Even if you had a live in nanny by the time you worked out costs to pay them it wouldn't be worth it anyway. I think you need to accept this job isn't going to happen, maybe explain the situation to your old employer and see if they'll take you back. If not, just get on Seek and apply, apply, apply. You'll get back on your feet eventually even though I know it doesn't feel like it.
Id first of all ask your job if you can cancel your resignation and stay. It might not be the end of the world it’s feeling like - I think that’s mostly coming from the relationship breakup. You’ll work out your new norm with you and your kids, it will fall into place.
If it makes you feel any better....As a single mum myself, with a dad who was fifo, I don’t think it could have honestly worked when you were with your partner. You would have been away two thirds of their life, plus they would be living in three different houses each week! That is no way to live. I’m telling you, the wheels would have fallen off, the kids would have been effected and you would of been relying on a lot of people to do a really good job raising your kids.
I tell myself, just get through financially whilst they are little, it goes really quick, then when they are grown up, you will be free to chase any career opportunity you want. You can even have your adult children living at your place, taking care of it when you’re away. I have a teen and even now there is so much more flexibility with work, now that she gets bus home from school. I promise, it will get better and your chance will come x
I’m not FIFO but have crappy work hours (330am-930am) and am a single mum dad has never been in the picture.
If you are eligible for any form of childcare rebate then a nanny is affordable -nanny’s for those who have no alternative option for childcare is subsidised through childcare rebate. It’s through a program called inhomecare.
Another option if you don’t qualify for the childcare subsidy is an AU pair. from memory it is usually a base rate of around $150-$250pw plus free accommodation/meals/utilities. Plenty of legitamite companies to source through who do all paperwork/police checks etc so it’s not just someone “backpacking.”
Oh my, this is wonderful, I really hope this mumma can use these services 🤞
Realistically, could you leave your children with an Au-pair for two weeks?
Is that even allowed?
Your kids need you around, not away at work… it sucks, the sacrifices we make as mothers, but leaving your kids for that amount of time with anyone but your parents or their father, wouldn’t be a good idea.
I’m so sorry you’re going through such a hard situation.
If you were in Melbourne I’d offer my services to help you have the kids watched when grandparents and dad isn’t available. 💜🥺
Really tough situation and sorry it’s happened. I would be postponing the job opportunity if it was me. If living with Bio Dad is not an option then I would be there. It’s sucks and I’m sorry you had to make the choice, but you are stronger than you know. You can do this.