Just needed to vent...
I was doing my shopping yesterday, I had my 10 year old son with me. He's a spirited kid, I'll be the first to admit that he can act up at times but I don't let him get away with bad behaviour (although, there are times where I pick my battles).
He did something silly (but harmless) at the supermarket and I was about to pull him up on it but before I could even get the words out of my mouth a stranger loudly and quite aggressively told him off, people were staring and I was so taken aback and embarrassed I just kind of watched her walk away on her high horse.
The disgusted way she looked at me and my kid made me feel so small, all the energy I had went into getting through my grocery shopping without bursting into tears.
I'm pissed!
Pissed at this woman who looked too young to even have any kids of her own, pissed because she totally undermined my parental authority and mostly pissed with myself because I didn't tell her to mind her business and leave the parenting to me.
Why must people insert themselves like this?!
Edited to add -
My son was at my side, he lifted two mandarins that we were buying to his chest momentarily as if they were boobs and had a little giggle. Was it silly and inappropriate? Absolutely! I certainly wasn't going to ignore it.
I saw him do it, the words "Don't do that it's inappropriate, put them down" were literally on the tip of my tongue when this lady interjected and yelled at my kid. I didn't even have a chance to get on top of it because this lady was in such a rush to stick her nose in.
I was already having a bad day, this lady made me feel 10 times worse.
11 Replies
I’ll admit there has been time where I have inserted myself because
a) the kid was doing something illegal/dangerous
And
B) there didn’t seem to be a parent around.
Now maybe the parent was watching from 50metres away, I don’t know, maybe I just couldn’t see them.
But I subscribe to the village, theory. It’s not a judgement on parenting. It’s an in the moment thing.
My kid, can and has been difficult. I’m talking the kid who scales the shelves to the top in Bunnings if you leave him alone for 2minutes. There are times a stranger has stepped in. And guess what, I don’t take it as a judgement. I was a bit embarrassed, cause I wasn’t on top of it. But thanked the stranger for pulling him up, when I couldn’t/didn’t see it.
Sometimes we need help, and that’s ok.
Yes. I have definitely inserted myself and others have inserted themselves with mine, it mostly never bothered me because people are generally kind and helping, but there are definitely some who are downright rude and unnecessary. I am usually too shocked to say anything or I will give them a foul look. I think it's more important to address your kid/s instead and explain that person's behaviour was unacceptable BUT said child's behaviour was also unacceptable (or whatever it may be). I just think that person is having a bad day and it's not up to me to teach them, but it is up to me to teach my child 🤷🏻♀️ I hope that makes sense
OP here.
I get what you're saying, in circumstances where there's imminent danger or it's something serious and there's no parent in sight (or not one who appears to be intending to act) by all means intervene.
My son was at my side, he lifted two mandarins that we were buying to his chest momentarily as if they were boobs and had a little giggle. Was it silly and inappropriate? Absolutely! I certainly wasn't going to ig ore it.
I saw him do it, the words "Don't do that it's inappropriate, put them down" were literally on the tip of my tongue when this lady interjected and yelled at my kid. I didn't even have a chance to get on top of it because this lady was in such a rush to stick her nose in. There was absolutely no kindness in the way she went about it either.
I'm all for the village mentality but not unsolicited discipline from random strangers.
With your context, I’d add it to your post, the lady was out of line.
Yeah, that lady was definitely out of line!
Definitely explain to your son her actions were disproportionate and out of line while also explaining why his actions are inappropriate in certain circumstances and can ellicit those types of reactions
Oh that is so typical of a 10 yr old boy! In all honesty if I saw a boy at the shop do that I would have a giggle with him!
It wasn't rude or harmful to anyone and was just a moment of being a bit silly.
Sounds like the lady has some issues and was probably having a bad day, but with that said your son will probably think twice about doing it again, so maybe see it as a overall positive?
Omg that’s funny! I think the lady just didn’t have a sense of humour. If I seen your son do that I would chuckle but if it was my son I would tell him to stop while holding back laughter. Pick your battles in that situation and understand her out burst was probably more about her then you in your son
Can. Not. Stand! When others feel the need to tell my kids off. This will get me extremely riled. Unless they are doing something that is causing you an issue directly, then mind your own business! Most of the time it is people picking up on petty little things too.
If I saw a kid doing that in public I'd have a little giggle and get on with my day lol can't understand how some people get so offended over the silliest things. She sounds like a miserable piece of work, I wouldn't give her another thought.
I would have pick the mandarins up and did the same thing while looking at her with a huge smile on my face.
Stupid B needs to back off. What your child did was harmless and didn't effect anyone. I wouldn't have even chastised him for that, I probably would have laughed with him