Hi Sisters,
This last week over the Easter long weekend I lost a very dear friend due to illness. I recognise that I am in the grieving process and I am finding it tough going but I know that I will eventually get through it.
My issue is with my spiritual/religious beliefs. I do not go to church or anything like that as I have my own beliefs that dont fit with traditional religion. I do believe in something that is bigger than all of us though whether you call it God or something else.up to the individual. While my friend was still here I asked for help to heal her to whoever was up there that would listen and it wasnt just a one off thing and was done with meaning and love.. So now I am a little bit lost as to whats the point in believing in a higher being as the 1 time I ask for help its gone unanswered. So you see where I am going with this I am questioning everything that I have held dear to me and I don;t even know what I am asking exactly. How do I get my beliefs back but do I really want to get it back as whats the point of it all, In the end we will all die anyway, sorry if thats a little morbid but thats where I am at.
I have no one to talk to you about this or about the way I feel with my friend, I am just trying to keep it together with out being a mess on the floor. Thanks for listening ti my ramble
7 Replies
Bcoz mother nature , or whatever realm of words ppl would like to call it, cannot intervene. It would be a great disservice to the natural flow of life, growth, and leaning . It's not that you weren't answered. You were . It just wasn't what you wanted to hear.
Oh wow that is spot on! Not getting the answer / outcome wanted doesn't mean you were not answered, it just wasn't the answer / outcome you wanted. I was raised catholic however stopped believing 20+ years ago. As weird as it sounds my, now passed, dad is my higher power and I have been so angry with him after a long, highly detrimental situation i was in; sounds weird but I told him I was so angry and didn't want to speak to him as I felt he had let me down (he never let me down when he was alive). Crazy right? I'm starting to realise I had to experience what I did to get to something better. Faith, whatever that means for you, can be questioned, its ok to feel abandoned, its ok to feel sadness, anger. You may find your way back to your faith, you may not and either way that's ok
That's why belief is faith. You can't 'test' a god/higher power etc. You can't change destiny/the natural progression of life
I stopped believing for the same reason - I begged and pleaded and bargained when my son was dying, but my calls for help were not answered. And for what? My son didn't deserve that.
Here is one of my favourite quotes for you,
"Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell
Spirituality is for those who have already been there"
This is definitely one of the first steps of grief, and you should try to follow it as the only way to get through grief is to feel it unfortunately.
Question everything, look into all religions and beliefs and somewhere in there you may find some peace ✌️
Medical intervention and a good prognosis is the only thing that can heal a sick / terminal person, not talking out loud to something that "may" possibly be there.
Sometimes when we ask for something the reply is not what we expected/wanted.
If you look at the bigger picture you asked for healing for your friend. Healing in this case was relief from illness/suffering and that relief came in the form of death. It is hard to understand that your ‘prayers’ weren’t answered in a way that means you still have your friend by your side but it was their path to healing.
There may come a time when you ask the same question of your deity and you will get the outcome that fits more with what you were expecting.
Take care and be kind to yourself while you grieve the loss of your dear friend. Perhaps use journaling as a way to help you through - write to your friend and continue sharing with them the things you would like them to know. It might feel silly or useless but as time goes by you will be able to clear your head of the unrest that currently occupies your thoughts.
xx
Time. After losing my mother six months ago and three family members within 4 years beforehand in traumatic circumstances. It takes time. I have been angry, heck furious at times. Sometimes that is even directed towards my past beliefs/God or whatever. I am still angry, sad, disappointed etc and have PTSD. However, I've started to notice moments where I feel like my old self. Where I can inhale/exhale and appreciate the stars. Having been through grief many times, it takes time to heal. There is no pressure to believe in anything. Give it time, allow yourself to heal and eventually the fog will clear on its own <3