Does anyone ever regret having a 4th child… I already have a 15, 13 and 8 but have just found out that I am pregnant. I’m also 40 in a few months. I am beyond confused about the whole situation. Once I tell the dad I may be doing it all on my own too as he was insistent that 3 was his limit and we aren’t exactly in the best place. Any advice
7 Replies
I don't regret my fourth but I was still in my 20's and my older 3 were all under 6. I think it's a completely different story for you as you are out of the baby stage, kids are almost all at the age where you can leave them and you're 40! I'm 41 and if I found out I was pregnant now I would freak out. I just wouldn't be able to cope going back to that. It's not so much a fourth child changing things but the age gap and your age, are you able to go back to that?
I don't have 4 but I've moved up in my career and couldn't imagine starting over at 40...I think you really need to look at what life will be like if you have this baby as a baby won't be all sunshine and rainbows. Will it affect you financially to the point your older kids will miss out? Are you fit and healthy enough to look after a baby? Are you in the right headspace emotionally to have a baby?
I have 3 kids 14,12,8. I am also 40 I personally could not go through with a pregnancy now. I can financially afford one but I just could not go back to the baby stage. Big hugs you do what’s right for you xxxx.
If dad was so insistent that 3 was his limit then he should have got a vasectomy. It makes me so mad when men 'blame' the woman for being pregnant but took no responsibility in preventing it.
I hope it works out for you, you've had babies before so you know how hard it can get, but also how rewarding it is.
And don't feel any shame if you decide that a 4th just isn't right for you
I'm 33 with a 14, 13 and 11 year old. I couldn't imagine having another baby at this stage, even when I have my baby niece I'm so glad I can give her back as much as I love her.
But then I may feel entirely different if I found myself in your position.
There's no shame either way, you've just got tondecide what's right for you, especially if you're likely to be doing it alone.
Dad was insistent 3 was his limit and you’re not in the best place? You both know what causes babies right? If you’re not in a great place then there’s a few easy ways not to fall pregnant. And if he’s willing to leave his family bc you both weren’t careful, you both risked pregnancy then I feel sorry for the child tbh. Imagine growing up knowing you’re the reason dad left. Everyone will resent that poor child .
I also have 4. They are now 16,15,8 and 3. Whilst I absolutely don't regret having my fourth, due to my now circumstances (single parent - DV) i definitely wouldn't have continued the pregnancy if I knew where I would be now.