Partner has 1 child that lives with us full time. I have 2 that I share care with my ex husband (week on/week off). For the upcoming school holidays I decided to take a week off to spend time with my kids.
Partner says oh can you leave it until august and I will take a week off too. He then says make it a week when we don’t have your kids and we will just have mine. I said but we won’t be able to do anything because he has school.
How do I discuss this with him without saying you’re being a selfish jerk!
What do I say? Am I being selfish for wanting a week with my kids and not taking his child with me if I take them to visit their older siblings etc?
Selfish partner
Selfish partner
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt, Kids
5 Replies
Does he know your plans? Tell him you're taking a week off to take your kids to your other child's house and spend time with them. Just do it, you don't need his permission. If he still wants a week off in August then there's nothing stopping him.
Tell him flat out that you're spending the week with your kids. They are your kids and they come first.
Now, as to not taking his kid around with you, that might be a bit touchy. What would that child normally do while you're both at work? If they would be at daycare, send them. If they are old enough to stay home by themselves, then leave them home to visit your other family - but if you leave them home alone to do fun stuff with your kids, that would be shitty of you.
You knowingly took on his kid full time when you took him on. His kid would surely see you as a parental figure, so you can't just dump them in favour of your own.
Step-parenting is hard, but it's still parenting.
I think if you choose to blend a family both parties need to be 100% invested, it's not mine and your it's ours. holidays include everyone, and no kid is more entitled to time over an other. If you are visiting older children then why can't the other kid go for the drive? why are the being excluded? Sounds like more of the parents not being good communicators and being clear on how things should work. Why are thr kids in thr cross fire?
Why wouldn't you take your stepson with you? Yes it absolutely is nasty not to include him! How awful for him, I hope you come to your senses, sounds like you just have sour grapes at your husband being selfish so to make him pay for it you'll leave his son out.
Make sure if you take the week off that you have time to spend with all the kids, not just yours. If it was me I would organise a range of activities to keep everyone happy. Then take another week off with your partner later in the year as well. You need to start finding ways for everyone to get their needs met, not just my kids or your kids