I’m 46!!! Years old and I just found out that I‘m pregnant. My period was late and I took a pregnancy test. I‘m in absolute disbelief and shock that it came up with a big fat second line. I am married with two kids (6 and 9) and don‘t think that even on the odd chance that I don't miscarry I can do it all again. My pregnancies were horrible with debilitating all day sickness and pelvis pain that left me unable to walk in my 3rd trimester. I also needed to give birth via c-section both times. We have 0 family support and while we would certainly survive financially our modest but comfortable life would be over. In short, I am 95% sure that I want an abortion. My husband is supportive either way. To make things even worse I am currently overseas with my family to see my family until the end of July. This means I need to navigate the medical system of a country I haven’t lived in for almost 20 years. I‘m booked in with a family councellor (required by law before an abortion can happen here) and an OBGYN to confirm that I am indeed pregnant. I had a look at the option of a medical abortion (possible here up until 9 weeks) but I‘m worried about the horror stories I read on the internet. By the time I will be able to legally have an abortion (there must be at least a three day gap between the counselling session and abortion) I will be just over 7 weeks pregnant. Does anybody have any experience with the abortion pill and is willing to share their insights? I am a total mess because my other two children were so wanted and I also have friends that had so much trouble conceiving. I feel so guilty about rejecting the new life growing in me (after all it‘s a miracle in itself to conceive naturally at my age). I so wish my circumstances were different but weighing all things up I feel abortion is the right choice. I‘m really too old for another baby, I suffer mild anxiety and a pregnancy at such an age would mean I‘ll be stressing out about something with the baby being wrong the entire time. It‘s also so darn expensive to bring up children plus my past pregnancies were so hard. So, please be kind.
10 Replies
You don’t have to feel guilty, I hope you get the treatment you need, it must be very stressful trying to do this while overseas and on a holiday. Try to take the guilt off you, it’s perfectly ok - at any age - to make the choice you’re making. You are not in anyone else’s shoes, you can only do what’s right for you.
Oh your poor girl. Are you able to come home? My friend was in the same position but not over seas, she just had her baby at 46. Depending where you are, I’d cut the trip Short and fly home it you don’t want to have it done there. You don’t have much choice really, how scary and worrying for you being overseas.
Don't feel guilty! I have had a medical abortion and it is an induced miscarriage so if you've had a miscarriage before you will know what you're in for. If not, it's cramping, nausea and heavy bleeding. The earlier you have it the less chance of complications, same for a miscarriage. If you have it at 7 weeks you should be fine!
I think you can have false positive tests right before menopause as your body starts throwing random hormones around. In saying that a friend of mines Mum gave birth to him when she was 49 years old. He is now nearly 60 so definitely all natural conception! Our bodies can throw curve balls at us just to keep us on our toes lol. Good luck and I'm sorry you're in this situation x
You have nothing to feel guilty about. Will having a baby help your friend's infertility? Will feeling guilty help you if the baby turns out to be disbled or nonviable? How will you feel if you decide to keep it and it needs fulltime care for it's entire life?
I was at the other end of the spectrum, I was too young and single.
I definitely still think about it occasionally, 20 years later, but have no regrets. It would have ruined my life.
I wouldn't have a home, a career, travelled.
You make the decision based on what's right for you and your family. Sometimes accidents happen.
Don’t feel guilty, I would do the same thing if I fell pregnant at 46. Big hugs 🤗 with whatever you decide xx.
I'd do the same if I fell pregnant at 46. No need to feel guilty. Xx
I had to face a very similar decision to you earlier this year. I chose to have a surgical as I had no one at home to help with my young kids if they pill turned out to be as bad as the horror stories. If you can get the surgical, it was literally over in minutes and recovery was fine.
Don’t ever feel guilty for putting yourself first.
Don't feel guilty around doing what's best for you and your family 💜 hard I know but this would be me if I fell pregnant to in my late 40's 😳 I wouldn't survive another pregnancy...see your doctor and do what you need to.. my husband and I are totally on the same page about this and .we wouldn't tell a soul about our decision. Also I strongly advise doing what you need to better ensure there are no more surprises 💜 good luck
I’m currently miscarrying atm. Wasn’t planned but was definitely wanted by me but not hubby. He’s interstate and I wish he was here as in a mess. I had to have a surgical abortion 11 years ago due to bubs dying in uterine and my body didn’t do what it was supposed to. No way could I have done it without my partner there. If your family aren’t supportive I’d be going home and making the appointment so you can be with hubby. Regardless of whether you want it or not it’s painful and extremely emotional