What would you do in my position, hubby and I used to have the best marriage until I had kids and I came to dispose how often men get to just up and leave when they want without worrying who is looking after kids while you go to work, food for them, life admin, cleaning, cooking, groceries, just everything in life I take after. Yes hubby works very hard doing really long days but so do I working then coming home to do everything else. By the time he gets home I am so touched out the thought of sex drives me crazy. I have become used to him not touching me then when he does it’s weird, he gets cranky cos I say no to sex a lot (mind you pre kids he would say no to me a lot) and I get he is cranky but I just can’t be bothered anymore. Then when we are in a good place and just joking around and I smile or laugh he says something like “she does smile/laugh” then wonders why I don’t very often anymore cos every time I do he makes a comment on it and before anyone says he is saying it nicely it’s not it’s in a smart arse tone always. Anyway not sure what exactly I am after maybe to be validated a bit, I have spoken to him and things change for a few days then go to shit again.
2 Replies
Not sensitive, it’s so common that it angers me as well that so many men can be so shit. You often hear this is what ruined a marriage, and women go on to find a motivated partner not a man baby and never look back. This is so stressful I feel sorry for you. And I do think what he’s doing is a choice by him, otherwise he’s be exhausting himself trying with lists and alarms and phone calls to his mum about how to step up, but he’s not is he.
Your cup is empty - he probably isn’t wrong. However he needs to find out why and help out more.
My advice to you would be step away for a girls weekend fill your cup then look at the problem without resentment.
Be honest and frank in your needs.