My ex husband and I have been divorced for 5 years now. We both live in a small town and I travel away for work a few days a week. He has the children while I’m away at work. I have moved back to the small town where he lives so I can see and be involved with the kids as much as possible.
I’m struggling to move on and live my own life when I’m constantly surrounded by his family, my friends are all mutual friends and everything in town is a reminder of what I no longer have and the future I will now not get to live. He has recently got a new partner although it has been a constant stream of new women since we separated so that’s not the issue here. I’m used to them coming and going….
Moving to another town for a fresh start where I can make new friends and be my own person (not just be known in town as “his” ex wife) would mean either uprooting the kids away from a good school that they attend with their cousins to come with me or me leaving them behind… or making them travel on weekends back and forward.
I don’t really know what I’m asking, but I’m finding it hard to keep going at the moment. I want what’s best for my kids but I can’t keep feeling like I don’t belong anywhere.
My own family is about 1000ks away and other than his friends wives I don’t really have much of a support network.
3 Replies
I went through the same thing when I broke up with my ex. At first I hated it and made plans to move but decided to stay a few years to save money first. I volunteered with the fire brigade, started making new friends and just made my own life. I stayed another 6 years as it started to feel less like "his" town and more like mine. Give it some effort, try and be part of the community so you don't feel like such an outsider. Join sports, a hobby, volunteer. It could be a good set up for your kids if it works out.
Why don’t you move with your kids closer to your family and see how that works. They will be fine at a new school, new friends. They can still see their old friends when they visit dad. I’d be moving away if it was me.
Keeping the kids where they are is very important I think. How about looking at dating or seeking a hobby or friendships outside the town? Might help to move toward your own progression. Hugs xxx