My Father passed away last week. From first getting his cancer diagnosis to his last day were exactly 7weeks.
I saw him 3 weeks before passing due to distance and he was telling anyone and everyone his final wishes. Due to rural area, distance and his solicitor being semi retired and Dad in and out of procedures those wishes were never formally added to his will.
I organised his funeral and service alone, I was the only person to speak and I poured my grief into trying to do his life justice through my efforts.
His new partner and he had been together 2 years in an on and off relationship that was not healthy or happy. She refused to care for him in his illness. I had people I had never met before coming up to me at the wake warning me to watch my back from his gf.
The day after the funeral I went to pay my respects again to her in kindness and she began talking about selling his things to pay for renovations on the house. These were deeply personal and valuable items to Dad that I'm stunned she could even think to sell...let alone the day after laying him to rest.
She has now said that all those last wishes he announced were only due to morphine and she has taken over all assets, all superannuation and is selling family airlooms. Their solicitor was her family friend and placed no protections on their will and she was his sole trustee.
How do I get past the feeling my Dad has abandoned me again as he did when He left after my parents divorced? I forgave him and loved endlessly and now I don't know how to mourn him when I also feel so let down, hurt and angry that he didn't think enough in what would happen in his passing. I can't even retrieve photos as everything is now held hostage to his ex gf. Even Dads ashes are taken by her.
How have other over come this grief?
Death of a parent and gold diggers. How do I forgive?
Death of a parent and gold diggers. How do I forgive?
Posted in:
Mental Health, Loss & Grief
7 Replies
Speak to a lawyer
Agree with above, contest.
You need a solicitor ASAP to get a cease and desist order slapped on her from removing or selling anything prior to the Will being contested.
Bear in mind though, it will be very long, drawn out, and quite possibly unlikely to win if she is trustee / beneficiary of the Will.
I know someone that had a similar issue when their grandmother passed away; her new husband had sole control over everything. His ex-wife's daughter actually rang her daughter the day she died & said "get over there now, because everything will be in the bin by morning" - and it was.
As to how you feel about your Dad, there's a lot to process there. Grief has many stages and you need to go through them all. Maybe look into some therapy to help you through it, especially given the way you felt about divorce.
Unfortunately deceased estates go to the partner first no matter the relationship dynamics as thats their next of kin. You could battle in court but the expenses on this would be yours. Is it really worth it?
Same happened to myself and my siblings.when my dad passed they were on and off all the time. She even rang my dads work and asked for his last pay check and didnt put a cent into paying for anything. we took it to court it took 2 yrs and still she got everything. I watched my dads stuff being sold all over Facebook it. was so hard to watch. I'm so sorry about your loss
I have had this happen with both parents. There isn't anything worse than the vultures that come along after someone passes. They don't even give you time to grieve.
You could contest but it may be a lengthy and costly process. It still does not hurt to contact a lawyer though and ask questions.
I had to move forward and realise these people were not worth my anger or strength. I needed time to process my grief and my parents would want me to try to find a way to be happy.
Make sure if mum is still alive she has an updated Will. All this has taught me to make sure I give away as much as I can when I get older and declutter my life. I do not want my children fighting over anything. I've witnessed it undo the closest families even when they think they have everything sorted, it only takes one.
Sorry for your loss ((hugs))
I’m sorry for your loss. Unfortunately I have experience with gold diggers. My dad’s gf had all his belongings on the kerb the day of his funeral after trashing us for the last month of his life. She ended up contesting the super and winning. My mums partner also contested her will and we had to renegotiate with him. It’s awful that people don’t take what they were gifted with grace and gratitude.