AITA for questioning grocery costs?

Anonymous

AITA for questioning grocery costs?

How much should a family of 5 (2 children in year four and one girl in year 8) spend on groceries over a 7 day period. Not huge meat eaters , it’s only really just dad who eats meat .. and vegetables aren’t bought.

Back story is, I’ve been working nights for the past four months (12 hour shifts, with two mid week nights off) and haven’t done the shopping myself. I’ve given my husband my card to do the weekly shopping, usually it’s $400 a week max. This week it was $970 over four different visits to IGA, Aldi’s and Coles.
When I questioned him why he has spent almost $1000 in groceries in 7 days he attacked me immediately saying I had no idea of the cost of groceries… um yeh I sure do. When I said to him that’s about $500 less I can put into other bills now, he yelled and screamed at me saying I never want to put anything into the family.
Im just at a loss of how much he’s spent in such a short period and honestly the cupboards don’t look any different to when only $400 is spent. I don’t see the receipts as they are thrown away.

Posted in:  Money

26 Replies

Anonymous

Well this is different for everyone. Everything has definitely gone up, he's not wrong there at all and if you're buying toiletries, vitamins etc it can all add up to that. Easy. We have 3 or 4 teenagers in the house and spend between $300 and $1000 on shopping, no shit. Some things have doubled. Then the little trips to get things for dinner or lunches, yep it definitely adds up.

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Anonymous

Yes the cost of groceries has gone up, but that is a lot of money for one week. I spend around $200 a week for myself and two teenage boys that eat a lot. That includes meat and fresh fruit and veg. I make all our cleaning products so that’s not included in what I spend.

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Anonymous

Ikg cheese is $19 at my local IGA

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Anonymous

Omg that is massive 😳 we spend around $200 -250 max for a family if 5, that’s for the standard milk, bread, fruit, veggies, some meat, frozen food etc. wow I could never afford that much and if I could, I wouldn’t spend that much. Ouch! I think he needs to shop at aldi and you need to give him only $400 in the card or you order it online for him to pick up.

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Anonymous

I agree that it’s different for everyone but also agree with you that it’s high. What you can do is do a list or go shopping together and you can literally show him how to bargain. I had to show my husband which items were considered high priced and which weren’t. He seriously did not know or realize it.

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Anonymous

$200 per week for us and one or 2, cheap take away night in the week usually around $60 max

I think there must be more to it. Drugs.? Gambling? Is he hiding something? Check your bank statements. Doesn’t sound right.

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Anonymous

Get a woolies rewards or fly buys, you’ll be able to see what he buys and how much. Something isn’t right here. That is excessive. That would last my family 3-4 weeks.

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Anonymous

Family of 5 here, we'd easily spend $500 a week on groceries.
But I mean, that's our staples, fruit, veg and meat, school food, toiletries and cleaning products and pet food plus a few luxuries like soft drink and treats.

You have every right to be questioning almost $1000 spent at a supermarket per week. I'm sorry but there's either some extremely frivolous spending going on here or a good portion of that money is going elsewhere.

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Anonymous

Yep. Family of 4. Not big eaters. 500+ pw at the moment with extra smaller shops too. I buy healthier products and have some allergies to cater for, but it's insanely more expensive than 6 months ago

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Anonymous

Family of 3. We spend $1,000 in 2.5 months! We have meat every night, dairy etc. I don't buy cleaning products with my shopping (Amazon takes care of that) but, I'm spending in 10 weeks what he's done in a week. You can always do woolies online shops. And change your woolies card to electronic receipts!

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Anonymous

That's $100 a week, not very realistic for bigger families.

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Anonymous

You watch all the we live off $2 a week people come out.
It always happens.

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Anonymous

That is ridiculous. Although, I’m not saying it’s impossible to do. I am a family of two kids, one parent, and weekly shops are around $150 then sometimes a $60 topup shop but if I need household things it can easily be over 200. If he’s stocked up on cleaning supplies, dog food, dog treats, toilet paper, jocks and socks, things like that, then it would easily be a few hundred each time. I guess before arguing, look at the receipts to see what it was.
Look at your house to see if you months worth of supplies of things.
If you can’t find out what’s different, ask him. If he does the shop, he would know why it was 600 more this week. That’s a lot more than an accidental ‘oops got a bit extra meat and household goods and that surprised me’.

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Anonymous

Well I’m a family of 2,
So I can’t really help with the cost, maybe go over a weekly menu together to make those weeks run more smoothly? Then order the groceries together or create a list together to use

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Anonymous

$570 extra on groceries? Prices haven’t gone up that much!! Unless he’s stocked your freezer with meat and the like, I can’t really think what an extra $570 would have bought.
We are a family of 4. One vegetarian. We eat lots of meat and fresh fruit and vegetable. We also buy snack food like ice creams, chips, lcms, muffins etc. we also buy pet food and cleaning products. I used to spend $170- $200 a week depending. Now I am spending $230-$250 per week with price increases. Sometimes I’ll go into the shop mid week and maybe spend an extra $20-30 if I’ve run out of something or forgotten it in my big shop.
Have you checked your bank statements? If he’s actually shopped at the supermarket, maybe he has bought gift cards to spend elsewhere?

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Anonymous

If he did 4 smaller shops instead of one big one then that's why. Ever gone into the shop for a few things and come out with a trolley full? I have, heaps of times. It's much cheaper to meal plan, think of lunches, breakfast, snacks, laundry, pet food, bathroom, cleaning, everything. Whoever does the cooking should start with a meal plan and the grocery list that goes with it, then add everything else to the list. Either do it online or make sure he takes the list with him.

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Anonymous

The reaction is what would concern me more than the actual $ if it's a one-off. Maybe diffuse the situation with. "wow, I'm out of touch. Can you help me catch up. Lets go through the dockets together so I can understand". If he doesn't have the dockets or a rewards card to access them on, then see if you can get that set up for the future. The supreme rejection and aggression says addict projecting his shame back onto you - gambling, drugs. But it could be one stupid mistake that he's trying to cover up... either way, you've noticed week one and the worry is going to be if it happens again.
PS only 2 in our family currently, but imagine $400/wk is about right for 2+3

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Anonymous

I'd either teach him to shop properly or order online for him to pick up.
But I get it, I send my partner out for 3 things & he comes home with 3 bags full & it was $200......
If shopping has always been your job, and now you've handed it off to him, in fairness, he probs had no idea what he's doing.
But also the fact that he's so defensive about it makes me suss. Is he maybe getting cash out on top for other stuff?
I mean, when my partner comes home with $200 worth of stuff & I say "WTF" he just looks at me like "what? That's how much it cost" - he's not jumping around yelling at me for questioning him.
Unless you were angry first maybe?

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Anonymous

I have 2 teens and a pre teen who eat like grown men, I have myself, my partner who can also pack it away, plus a fussy cat who only eats the finest salmon flavoured fancy feast 😂

I also shop quite indulgently - I like brand names and good produce, I also do a few of those spontaneous probably unnecessary stops at woollies throughout the week.

Even with the amount we eat, the price rise in groceries and the way I shop, I've still never come close to spending almost a $1000 in a week.

My honest thoughts, he's buying uber eats vouchers at the supermarkets or buying a lot of takeaway. Which would explain why you're not really seeing where the money is being spent.
Second thought - possibly gambling. Sorry to make that suggestion, it's just that I grew up with a gambler and this sounds painfully familiar.

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Anonymous

I have 3/4 teenagers at home and whenever I have shopped like that in the past year it actually has come close to $1000, if I watch what I'm buying and not buy extras I can get it to under $500.

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Anonymous

If you normally do the shop, I'd say he just had no clue. Then when you questioned it he's gone on the attack thinking you're up him for failing at the task. Hurt his man pride.
I don't reckon it'd be that hard to blow a G on groceries. Especially if he has a penchant for the finer things. Shit, I get 2 bags for around $100.
My partner is a shocking shopper. I refuse to shop with him and if he wants more than what I get as 'normal' groceries he takes his wallet off to the shops to purchase the shit he desires.

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Anonymous

He probably felt attacked, that said does he smoke or drink? that could definitely add to the grocery bill? to avoid this stuff, online order and meal plan together so it's no work for anyone, and then there is no risk of crazy shopping. I know my hubby kills our shopping costs and he loves new things, and treats, and wouldn't this be fun, and no thought in to cost or if anyone will actually consume what he is all excited about. Maybe have an honest conversation about keeping these costs in check so you can pay everything else

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Anonymous

I will be honest and admit as a family of 6 it's probably around the $600+ a week mark. With three teenagers and a younger boy we are also not ultra careful around spending. I am trying to improve though. Maybe see it as an opportunity to help him budget by doing a menu plan together and let him know you understand it's not easy when he does not usually do the shopping. My hubby likes to shop for dinner on the day and we always find these impulsive in between shops add up as you put more in the trolley.

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Anonymous

We are a small family, and our groceries (if I didn't buy little luxuries like lollies etc) I would be able to get it under $100 a week, mainly shopping sales for the extras and waiting until high cost items come in sale - laundry detergent we have allergies and need a specific type.
I think a bump if even +$200 I would be questioning!
Definitely not wrong to question an excessive cost, especially with the rise of all of the costs/bills lately

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Anonymous

I'm sorry - you don't do the grocery shopping but you know the costs. This is a contradiction. Prices are changing weekly, sometimes daily at the moment. I've found some prices have jumped over 50% recently. And yes $900 is an excessive jump from $400. I feed a family of 3 adults. We average around $200-$250 per week and that does not include treats. Its all vegies, meat and necessities. Be thankful you have a husband that does this for you. I work full time, can't stand ordering food online so I go every week and do a shop. My husband wouldn't know where to start to buy food....

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Anonymous

Family of 7 here, 5 adults, 2 children average $250 week in western suburbs Melbourne. We eat meat 6 days a week and have fresh fruit and veggies ( that are in season) daily

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