I have zero friends. None. I recently stepped out of my comfort zone (I have anxiety) and sparked up a conversation with one of the mums in my child’s class. I felt really good after and happy I could potentially make a friend. We’ve said hello and goodbye here and there previously but never spoke properly. I wanted to send her a friend request on Facebook but I second guessed, is that classed as Facebook “stalking” as they say? If she gets a friend request from me, would she think I’m weird? She seems fairly popular in the school ground. I’m completely opposite.
Facebook stalking- is it? Should I send a request?
Facebook stalking- is it? Should I send a request?
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Sisterhood Stories, Kids
6 Replies
If you’re in the same groups it’s ok, but a Facebook friend request isn’t the best way because you’ll be approved then it’ll just sit there. It’s not how you make friends.
I’d suggest to message her (next time ask for her number or ask if she’s on Facey and if she minds if you send through something - anything you’ve been talking about, a pic of your dog, the wine you drank last night, the cafe that you recommend deets, etc) that will open a chat.
From there, use it to invite for another social meetup or for less pressure ask her if there are any social groups or
outings planned that you could join.
I also think you should challenge yourself to chat to other parents there.
Maybe just wait and chat to her again and say, we should catch up with the kids for a play date. Then at some stage, say are you on Facebook.? she prob has anxiety her self and it will help you, so much building these new friendships. Anxiety is so common. Good for you, for wanting to reach out.
Hold off on the Facebook until you strike up another conversation and catch up with her. Organise a play date then als her on the day, if she has Facebook.
I've had mums from my kid's school send me fb friend requests and I've either never spoken to them at all or we've only ever made polite small talk. So if you were to send me a friend request I wouldn't find it weird at all, I'd probably be thrilled actually!
I struggle with social anxiety. I have wasted so many hours of my life agonising over these sort of social situations and all the unspoken social "rules" or obsessing over that one time 15 years ago where I was a bit awkward.
Don't do that to yourself, don't let your anxiety take the wheel.
Your intuition was telling you that you had a connection, send the request alongside a short fb message saying hi, was nice chatting the other day and maybe you could catch up for a play date or coffee one day.
I have had several women send me friend requests from school. They find me and I always think it's kind of nice, not stalkerish. However, sometimes it may even be a private message which starts with 'sorry that I did not get your number so found you on facebook instead. Was wondering if you would be free for kids to have playdate OR (more direct) to catch up for a coffee?
Do not judge her too harshly if she is as hopeless as I am. I am a massive introvert owing alot of coffee catch ups haha. I think it's just about having those couple of really good friends.
Personally, I wouldn't do that if you're only on a "hello & goodbye" basis.. I would wait to see if a friendship progressed first, maybe after a few coffee & chat type scenarios.. Adding someone on socials that you're not social with is a bit out of place & awkward just imo 🤷♀️