Hubby and I have been together for 15 years, married for 5. For about a decade we've had next to no sex life - mostly because I have almost no libido. I suffered extreme post-partum anxiety after the birth of our first child (she's now a teen), I've been taking antidepressants since then due to the severity of the anxiety. They work amazingly for the anxiety, but kill any and all thoughts or want to be intimate with my husband. We've tried almost everything - role play, dirty talk, etc. We now have 3 kids and to be completely honest I'm just too exhausted. By the time the kids are settled in bed I'm falling asleep on the couch. Hubby works away occasionally and is always trying to spice things up with dirty talk but I'm just not into it at all. I feel so bad for him. We recently had a fight about how he also needs attention from me when it comes to sex but nothing has changed. We don't get any help from family members when it comes to date nights etc so we get next to no time just us. I've considered coming off the antidepressants and we both agree we need counselling as a couple. Has anyone been in the same boat? What did you do that worked for you? I love him so very much and other than the sex issues our marriage is fantastic. It's my worst nightmare for things to not work out between us, he's the love of my life. Thanks all.
2 Replies
People always say they have no family to help out, but you know you can pay an older teen to regularly baby sit.
I'm a single mum and even I can afford a babysitter.
Why not start small with a fortnightly date night?
See how it progresses from there?
Definitely get a babysitter so you can figure out how much of this is due to other factors. I know if I take on all of the housework it ruins my mood. I would get a motel room with a spa 🥰 and just spend time relaxing and enjoying each other's company again. There are some natural things you can try but I would not try them unless you know they are safe with meds. There are also couples therapy and sex therapists out there so do not hesitate taking that next step. Remember to look after you and it's not okay to feel pressured. Intimacy is an important part of a healthy relationship but that can include other things and not just sex x