My daughter has her birthday party coming up in December and we always invite all the girls in her class. There has been one girl that has been a bully towards my child this year and my daughter doesn’t want to invite her
Do I not invite this child and exclude her from all her class mates which is technically a form of bullying in itself or do I invite her against my daughters wishes? I’m so conflicted on what I should do. Please help
Child birthday party dilemmas
Child birthday party dilemmas
Posted in:
Behaviour
10 Replies
Change it from all girls to just who she plays with at school.
Stop inviting all the girls from the class. Invite her closest friends.
It’s not bullying at all. Why would you have a kid at your daughters party if she bullies her? It’s quite simple, don’t invite her and don’t feel guilty for it. School holidays then anyway you won’t see her. you need to learn to not feel bad for making the right choices for you and your daughter. It’s ok to not invite a bully. It wouldn’t be right to invite her.
I would also limit it to maybe 5-10 girls but it’s your choice. If you want them all there it’s up-to you but leave the bully out of it. If you do decide to invite her then get to know her and understand why she may do it or have a chat to mum. Get to know the girl a bit more.there is usually a reason, why they are like this. She may have issues and not know how to deal with it. Don’t feel bad if you don’t invite her.
You can’t phrase it ‘we always invite all the girls in her class’. Saying that and not inviting that one is the same as singling out or uninviting.
Your daughter can invite whoever she wants and of course wouldn’t want to invite someone that’s mean.
Just phrase it differently. My daughter is having a party and inviting a few friends. Solved.
If you invite this girl against your daughter's wishes, what she will get from that is that you dont respect her boundaries and that she has to make accommodations in her life for abusive people!
Those are not the kind of lessons you want to be instilling.
There's a painful but valuable lesson for the other girl to learn as well should she not be invited. There are consequences to her behaviour, the consequences in this context being that if you're an a-hole to people, they generally don't want to hang out with you any more.
Bullying is such a big issue party because kids are prevented from having that kind of accountability.
You are way over thinking this just don’t invite her. No big deal.
I get the kind of vibe that maybe this girl is not the bully your daughter says, you know it too, that's why you're feeling guilty about leaving her out. Or else you would without a second thought. If you're unsure what the exact situation is with the 2 girls then don't let her invite all the girls except for one, because it is not nice to exclude just one child like that if she's done nothing wrong. She doesn't need to be invited but instead of inviting every other girl just invite the kids she is close to.
This is far from Bullying, it's a part of life. Actions have consequences, be a bitch, well miss out. We need to stop this world of every one must be included because their feeling will be hurt. Resilience is an imported part of life....we don't all win, we don't all get included, life isn't all butterfly's and rainbows.
If your daughter wants all the girls but not that one, , maybe this girl will learn if your a nasty price of work, no one will like you.
I tell my kids all the time, people don't like bully's, bully's don't have friends, but people too scared to stand up to them, so they join in to avoid being a target. My kids have been all sorts of nasty, and excluded because of it.... they just have to deal with it, and learn from it
I remember I got invited to my bully’s birthday party & I didn’t want to go because obvious reason and my parents forced me to go saying ‘oh you’ll have a good time I’m sure’. I did not…was one of the worst days of my childhood I can remember. This girl took it upon herself to bully me at her own party & had all her friends join in to bully me & exclude me from anything & any party games that happened. It’s a bit different to your situation but the bully might decide to bully your daughter at her own birthday party &/or get others involved. Stuff what the bully or their parents think about not being invited- pick what’s best for your child’s happiness & wellbeing. Especially as it’s her big special day.