How to cope with a 3yo who constantly has to talk

Anonymous

How to cope with a 3yo who constantly has to talk

My 3yo DD has to constantly talk! From the moment she is awake to the moment her eyes close. I answer her questions straight away but she will still ask the same question again straight after, she will talk about random stuff and just for the sake of talking sometimes. I don't get a break from it, not even going to the toilet or having a shower( another adult is around to watch the kids), I am followed. It has gotten to the point I have to wait until 11pm to have a shower so all kids are well and truly asleep (also have a 9yo that hates sleep) and just to get 5 minutes to myself. I can't even have a conversation on the phone without her talking to me, I ask her to wait until I am off the phone but she just won't. Having a conversation with someone face to face is the same, if she is not answered she just continues even after being asked to wait. I can get an hour out of her if I give her the IPad for some wind down time after kinder.

I know I should be thankful she can talk and all of that but it's getting to the point others are getting frustrated with her and we can't visit many people any more. It's exhausting. My 9yo was never like this.

Just to clarify, visiting other people and having her constantly talk is also exhausting for them.

I have also tried having all different activities set up so she is busy and we can do craft together but she gets over that quiet quickly

Posted in:  Parenthood Guilt

15 Replies

Anonymous

My youngest was like this too. Then you get people who say "Enjoy it! It doesn't last forever" šŸ™„ I can tell you now that my kids are older that I definitely don't miss it! I have no advice as I tried everything and nothing worked but mine did stop as she got older thankfully. I also have a teenager who is quite introverted but I'd rather that over a kid who talks non stop šŸ¤£

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Anonymous

It's all well and good to say "enjoy it" because they don't deal with it 24/7. If enjoy it if I got a break for at least 5 minutes a day.

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Anonymous

I tell those people to think of it like food. Of course we are so grateful to have food but no one wants it shoveled in their mouth non stop even after it's hurting and uncomfortable and you feel like vomiting. That's what it's like dealing with the non stop talking. It's not enjoyable at all and no we don't have to be grateful 24/7 for it.

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Anonymous

My daughter was a chatterbox while my son's weren't, my youngest was a late talker and I heard all the time that it was my daughter's fault for constantly talking so he doesn't have to but it really is just a personality trait. Your daughter is an extrovert and talking is a gift. I know it's not feeling like that but as she goes through school you will see that it is, a kid that can ask questions and hold conversations and talk to anyone is going to go far. My daughter is now 22 and she has always been a smart kid, confident and has a lot of friends and coped with trauma through her teenage years by talking about it. She is only 3 and you can keep teaching her the appropriate times to talk but you can't expect her to already know when they are. She has to learn and that can take years. I also think it's pretty sad other people are getting so annoyed by a 3 year old talking that you can't visit them anymore, that says more about them than your child and I personally wouldn't want to visit anyone that got that annoyed by a 3 year old talking.

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Anonymous

Thank you for this reply. It gives me a bit more confidence that it is completely normal. I just don't want her to go into school and always being in trouble because she talks. Her kinder teachers love her and don't mind her constantly talking and encourage her which I do love but I know the school won't

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Anonymous

They do learn quickly at school when you can and can't talk, it's not going to be constant forever

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Anonymous

I agree with this, there is no reason that other adults should be bothered by this. Itā€™s not the childā€™s problem or OPs problem, sheā€™s just a chatty 3 year old sheā€™s not hurting anyone!! On the contrary, sheā€™s engaging and social! Itā€™s hard on the parents sometimes, but nobody else should be complaining.
Also OP sheā€™s very right about your daughter being communicative as a positive trait for her future, she will be able to better express her feelings and needs in life, itā€™s hard on you now but as she grows she will learn more about appropriate levels of talking, and it will be such a gift to her in the future ā¤ļø Youā€™re doing a great job

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Anonymous

Welcome to parenthood.

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Anonymous

Oh you are so very helpful!!

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Anonymous

Haha yes this. I had a friend that set ā€˜quiet timeā€™ and theyā€™d get a reward and could talk all they want after mummy had her quiet time.
Play the silent game. Headphones. Ask questions back? Get creative.

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Anonymous

I do set quiet time but it doesn't work. The iPad for an hour is the only thing that will work 90% of the time.

I ask questions and keep talking to her but she will out question me haha.

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Anonymous

My son is exactly like this! Heā€™s 5 now, and itā€™s really ramped up. Other people are constantly telling me that heā€™s so entertaining etc, but he literally chokes on his own saliva multiple times a day because he just DOES NOT STOP TALKING. He talks to himself when I leave the room, he talks over me when Iā€™m on the phone or talking to anyone. Itā€™s exhausting mama you are not alone. She is so clever and just has so much to say and think, but doesnā€™t know how to express it appropriately šŸ˜‚ Mine is starting school next year and I just know he will HATE having to be quiet all the time, itā€™s going to be a learning curve but Iā€™m confident he will get there eventually haha
I will say this though, as they get older itā€™s easier because you can leave them unsupervised in the house a little more, so when you need a breather you can go take a shower or something. I put headphones in and listen to a podcast real loud when Iā€™m cooking and canā€™t take his questions anymore, and I just nod along while pretending to listen HAHA I just want you to know they arenā€™t all like this, all kids are different, but you are certainly not alone! xx

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Anonymous

Just to add I was the same when I was little, but my mother squashed that in me. She was annoyed constantly, I was part of a big family and nobody wanted to listen to my crap šŸ˜‚ understandably. When I reached a certain age I was so embarrassed by the sound of my voice that I tried so hard never to speak, even though it wasnā€™t in my nature. It did impact my self esteem so I try not to be as harsh with my son. I see my mother get annoyed by him now too šŸ˜‚ and she always tells me that I have a lot more patience with him than she had with me (I know what itā€™s like so it do try my best not to squash his confidence).
Donā€™t let other adults who are annoyed make you question whether your daughter is normal, she absolutely is! Itā€™s their problem. You do what you need to do to keep yourself sane, do your best to teach her whatā€™s appropriate and remind yourself that she will learn over time ā¤ļø

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Anonymous

My son is 3 and clings to me all day every day. Itā€™s so draining.

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Anonymous

Not a quick fix, but we did two things with our kids.
First thing is for years I continued to say to my son ā€œplease quieten your brainā€ (you will
Need to assist with this at the start to teach her how and what it means eg short Silence, re-grouping herself, deep breaths) now heā€™s 10 and when heā€™s on a tangent and wonā€™t stop talking or extra hypo I simply say please quieten your brain and he can do it very quickly. He also uses this tool in class. When he gets in trouble for talking he says he often tells himself ā€œquieten your brain quieten your brainā€. The second thing is I taught my kids if they need to speak to me when we are with other people they place their hand on my arm . I place my hand over theirs straightaway in acknowledging that Iā€™m aware theyā€™re waiting quietly. When thereā€™s a break in our adult conversation then I excuse myself with friends and address what they need. Itā€™s so much better then the constant interruptions. You just need to be consistent with the rules. Good luck.

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