Tonight I had a car accident. I had my 3 and 4 year old in the car. I let them distract me and when they were calling out to me, turned my head to look towards them in the back seat, and ended up drifting towards the left of the road and hitting a parked car. I stopped immediately, gave my details to the neighbour of the person whose car I hit (who tried calling them for me). On my way home they called and told me I needed to come back because they were calling the police because I left the scene of the accident and I explained no one was hurt, I tried to contact them, and I left my details and in the end they didn’t call the police (this was still so anxiety inducing). In the end, once I explained the circumstances, they were amazingly understanding and somehow now I feel ever worse for causing such an inconvenience at the worst time of year to do so! I have been suffering a higher level of anxiety lately than usual (I am medicated for it), and I am hoping that it had nothing to do with me getting distracted and having such an accident. I just feel so sick that I had a car accident with my kids in the car and I was at fault - they are unharmed, but that doesn’t help. I haven’t had an at fault accident in the 14 years I’ve had my licence, but that just isn’t helping me feel better.
7 Replies
It was an accident. No one was hurt.
You have taken full responsibility!
You have apologised and they have been understanding and accepting.
Let your insurance now do the rest!
You get to let it go now! Give yourself permission to let it go.
We all have an “accident” in some way (might be car, work, parenting) - life and pressure is a lot especially at this time of year. You have done everything you can now. It’s ok to be ok about it!
It's done. You're not the only person in the world that has done it.
Take the lesson, be thankful it was a good outcome, and move on.
Next time you may not be so lucky so make sure there isn't a next time hey.
Sure, a banged up car and dealing with insurance companies at Christmas time might be inconvenient and frustrating but had circumstances been different two families could have been planning funerals.
I'm not at all saying that to make you feel worse, I'm saying that to give you a sense of perspective. Everyone came out of this physically unharmed - that is the main thing!
I know this is pretty fresh but you can't torture yourself about something that you can't change. The accident happened, no amount of sickening guilt will make the accident unhappen. You need to focus on going forward, ie, what can you learn from this accident that can prevent another one from happening in the future? How can you manage distractions from now on? Is there more you could be doing to cope with your anxiety/stress levels?
You’ve done the right thing in stopping and leaving your details. It’s now time to leave it up to your insurance company to handle all the other details. There is a lesson in what’s happened for both you and your children. For you, you know how easy it is to become distracted and to take steps to prevent it happening again. And for your children, they will now hopefully learn to not distract you or others when in the car. They are old enough to understand that to be safe in the car they can’t distract the driver.
Sounds like a minor accident. You’re all ok, we all get distracted by our kids in the back. We all turn to look at them occasionally. As you’re so quick to point out about the other person - this is a very stressful, busy, tough time of the year - give yourself the same grace.
You handled it completely correctly. And it will all be sorted out. At the end of the day, they’re just cars and shit happens.
I would treat your negative thoughts about it now as anxiety and work to turn them around.
First time I ever took a friend of my daughter's in my car (they were 3) a kid ran up the bum of my car. Noone was hurt. These things happen. The kid that hit me didn't do it on purpose and I was pleased the parents of the friend understood accidents happen too. The only person who seems to be not recognising that these things happen is you. Give yourself some time for the adrenaline to settle
The most important thing is noone was hurt. I ran into the back end of someone turning a corner and it was right before Christmas. I too had a good driving record. I just drove past a woman yesterday who ran into the side of another man. Seems the extra stress at this time of year makes everyone a little more frazzled! I swear the number of accidents increase at this time as everyone is rushing and stressed. Take time to breathe, hug your little ones and be okay 🥰 You did everything right afterwards and left your details. We all make mistakes. Please stop being so hard on yourself x