My gorgeous, bubbly, kind and soft hearted little five year old boy has just started Prep this year. A couple of times he has told me that he's felt sad at school because he doesn't have any friends to play with. At kindy he never seemed to have this problem so I was hoping that it is just something temporary that would pass.
Today however he told me again that he felt sad all day and said it was because he didn't have any friends to play with. Then he told me that he wanted to die because he doesn't like himself. When I asked him why he said it was because he doesn't have any friends at school.
I am totally shocked at hearing something like this, especially from such a young child. I don't understand how he could even articulate something like this. I asked him if he had ever heard someone say something similar and he said no.
To say I am heartbroken is an understatement. My brother tragically took his own life two years ago (my kids don't know how he died), so hearing my little one say what he did really cuts deep.
I am really not sure how to approach the situation. His teacher seems lovely. Should I tell her? Or should I just wait to see if he does manage to settle in better? Please be kind with your advice, this whole situation has triggered a massive wave of grief for my brother, along with being super worried for my little boy. I really want to do what is best for my son, but given he's so young I'm just not sure what that should be.
7 Replies
So sorry he said that to you, how upsetting.
I’m a teacher, yes definitely tell his teacher. Email them now and they’ll be all over this tomorrow. Preps usually all play in the same area, but some can get really overwhelmed and not find their friends or feel they haven’t played or not know what to play. Anything could be going on but the teacher will care and will definitely be able to watch and see what’s really happening with him, and can buddy him up with similar kids and make sure he’s playing and settled.
Yes, you should tell the teacher and you should also make a GP appointment to get your boy some mental health support
Yes please approach the school. Let the teacher know and He can pair him up with someone. I would also suggest taking him to a child psychologist and see what else may be going on and get them to work through this with him. Tell them what he told you. I feel for you this is heartbreaking especially when you have already lost someone. Your boy is young and I think professional help now will help him long term. Get a care plan and get something in place. It may only be words that he has heard from somewhere but it’s best to follow this up with the right help and advice. I took my son to one when he started school and the help was amazing. They got thoughts and feelings out of my son that we had no idea he was even thinking of.
Always speak openly to the teachers and school. So they are aware and can support him at school. They will make sure he isn’t alone.
This was my son when he began prep. He's ASD but is so high functioning and good at mimicking behaviour, it didn't become apparent until 7 or 8 when he started really verbalising a lot of his thought processes. Get a child psychologist involved. They can help him to process his feelings, learn social development skills to make friends and identify if their is something underlying influencing this.
My son is also 5 years old and has just started school. My younger brother also died 2 months ago, very suddenly and tragically. I want to first send you big hugs and tell you you’re not alone, my heart is with you ❤️ It can be such a hard transition for the little ones, even without the grief tangled in. mine has been crying at drop offs and we’re all just doing our best at the moment, so well done for being such a caring mum.
I would definitely talk to the teacher, I told them about our situation and they were so kind and understanding. Does his school have a counsellor? They can often also help with involving children in play and how to make friends. Have a chat to some of the other mums, I found that my son was able to make some connections with their kids and we are planning some play dates hopefully soon. I’ve learnt in this experience that talking to everyone around like teachers and the community is so important, keep that communication open. We need to be loud about our feelings, and it sounds like you have a great relationship with your son if he has been communicating with you about this at all ❤️
Beautiful response.
Thank you for this comment and sorry for your loss x