Hi mums, I'm asking here because I'm extremely embarrassed and self conscious and I don't have the courage to ask any of my local groups, that and I know some admins of them groups and I only know of one other person with the same "condition" as me.
I am a skin picker. I pick the skin around my finger nails and I find it gets so much worse when I'm stressed or anxious. I hate it but like doing it at the time if that makes sense. I hate it so much because I do it without realising and it leaves my fingers looking awful, sometimes bloody and like Ive got an infectious disease. Not sure this is any relation but I was a nail biter since a young child too but that's one thing I haven't done since high school. However picking seems to have replaced that and Ive found I can grow my nails beautifully but as soon as they break and a tiny bit of skin starts peeling, I start the cycle all over again. It's like I can't let this tiny bit of skin just go, I have to pick it off. Ive been doing it since I think high school as I didn't have the best experience. Bullying, high anxiety, I had issues with dealing with an alcoholic dad and your typical teen issues. From there it got out of control. I can go months and months picking and I try my hardest to hide my hands during my worst times but then suddenly my fingers heal, I grow my nails and the picking just stops. My biggest worry (and I know this sounds ridiculous) was the day I got engaged, I didn't want the picked, red and inflamed fingers with short horrible nails. Thankfully for me I was going through a good stage and I have a picture of my engagement ring on a beautiful hand with beautiful long nails/fingers. But it didn't take long for my nails to start breaking again and the skin picking to start. I'm currently working alot of hours while trying to deal with a house full of mess and kids (I have 3 daughters that just fight and scream at each other 24/7) and a partner who has made other things his priority so he hasn't done much to help me lately. My fingers are in an absolute state. The clients I work with get their nails done and I envy them so much because they have beautiful hands and nails and I so desperately want to get my nails done with them but I cant until I stop picking and Ive tried and tried recently but find myself still doing it without even realising. I need help and it may not seem like a big deal to most people but it ruins so much in my life. It also hurts to wash dishes, use hand creams and even touch things when Ive got a big flare up. I've googled and I know it's a condition that needs help but I also just want to know of other people with this and what you have done to overcome it on your own if that's even possible. I've lost faith in the health system recently and I am also too embarrassed to see a doctor. It's taken over my life for way too long and I want to have perfect nails and hands for my future wedding. I want to wear all my beautiful rings and I absolutely love wearing nail polish but I just can't do it with ugly inflamed nails.
4 Replies
I am an extreme nail biter to the point that there isn’t much nail left and it’s all skin. I also pick at times but mostly bite and I keep biting blood, pain and all, nothing stops me.
I cry because they get so sore and I can’t touch anything. I hide my hands so people can’t see it.
But I can tell you now 100% way for me to grow my nails is antidepressants. I went to my Dr crying because I couldn’t keep biting them, there was nothing left. I begged her to put me back on antidepressants there and then and it stops. It’s amazing what they do.
Maybe give them a try and see if it helps. Sorry your post was so long that I prob missed some things but antidepressants are amazing and I think it would help you. I was on low dose celepram. Speak to your Dr.
Also don’t be afraid to go to the Dr, they see this day in day out. They are there to help you. The underlying cause of this is anxiety. Once you treat that it will get better. For me that’s antidepressants helped for the anxiety, depression and my nails. They are now growing back.
You're absolutely right that it's worst when you're highly anxious. It's the anxiety that drives it.
See your GP, and as well as that start some self care rituals. Prioritise you and your mental health.
Get an anxiety ring for each hand. When you start picking consciously stop and spin the ring instead.
Give yourself a little manicure once a week. Even just a soak in some dettol while they heal, then change to a nice scented oil. Savlon cream on the wounds until you can use hand cream again. Cut and file your nails to a manageable length that suits your job and lifestyle. This will help prevent the breaking. If allowed (I can't due to working with food) polish your nails with a cute colour. I just use a nail strengthening coat.
Find pockets of time within the chaos to settle your mind.
Read affirmations, do some exercise, meditate, take up a gentle hobby that forces you to slow down. When everything is so go, go, go our brain needs to be able to wind back down.
dermatillomania.
You need to seek therapy. You need to find strategies to help you cope. This can be treated and you can learn to control it ❤️