How do I fix permanent burnout? I live a life that I can’t really change but I need to find a way to make it work for me better. I am a single mother to three children, I also am legal guardian for two others - therefore I have 5x kids in the house (3-17 in age). I work full time on top of that. I love my job, I love my kids, I love the kids I took in (and they’ve done nothing but completely thrive being here with me). I have absolutely no support in terms of regularly lightening the load, I’ve stood up and accepted responsibilities that everyone else walked away from and thus all the family I have is in my house and my responsibility.
I have cut all the negative and toxic out of my life, only surround myself with good people, I have had years of therapy and continue to seek that mental support so I’m not depressed or anything I’m just exhausted.
But, I can’t keep on top of the house work, I don’t earn enough to outsource this. I’m late for work everyday because I’m so tired that I struggle to get out of bed no matter how much I sleep, I eat well, but I just can’t seem to shake the tired, exhausted, achey body that I’m walking around in everyday and I want to because I love my life and want to feel good in it. I’d love some advice please!
Permanent burnout
Permanent burnout
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Self Care
5 Replies
Hey! You sound just like me! Well, very similar. So you have a 17 year old, they are definitely old enough to do things for you, like school pickup or drop off or even babysitting. So that’s one thing, start going out for a cocktail or a drink or a meal or a fun thing with friends. It’ll cost you $20 or 30 but you can be home by 8pm and you’ll feel a million bucks.
Order dinners, or do easy meals. Hot dogs or pizza night. Find your hobbies and start doing them. Whether it’s walking every night, rowing, cycling, Pilates, art classes, find your thing and get into it.
Remember you’re doing a lot, alone. Treat yourself whenever you can.
Get your kids to treat you. Buy a face mask and wine and they will know what to do.
Make an effort on the small things they really do matter - sleep, eating, water, kid free down time and friend good times.
But you need to feel happy to keep the good routine up. So also take those steps to take your time and build your network and social life.
Make sure you have something to look forward to, and don’t be scared of seeing your gp if you can’t shake it alone. Life really isn’t meant to be like this, but you’re doing it and you will get there! As your three year old grows up a bit things will get so much easier.
Ps I call it situational depression, but I like permanent burnout more that’s the actual problem, exhaustion of all the jobs and expectations and it just goes on.
Take a minute. Schedule time for you..
divide up some chores get the kids actively helping with age appropriate tasks.
organise 17 year old to babysit one hour a week. Use that time for you! Selfishly you. Then increase that to two hours a week.
Recognise that it is a lot! Pat yourself on the back often. Be proud of keeping the wheels on. Then laugh when they fall off. Pick yourself up and try again tomorrow.
We are all just winging it, the juggle of our lives.
Also see GP just check in on your thyroid etc make sure the fatigue isn’t clinical.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, kids grow up and you just have to make it work until the kids get to that next phase.
If the kids aren’t fully pulling there weight, they need to start. The older ones can definitely cook dinner one night a week each, and start getting them to do there own washing.
Anyone that can carry a dish/bowl/cup/tissue/towel needs to contribute, so you don’t burn out.
You won’t be able to go in hard core, but small systematic changes, that ease your burden.
Get checked for sleep apnea