Hi Sisters,
Today my beautiful 8 year old daughter started a conversation with meand the outcome was somewhat unexpected.
For the past two months I've actually felt like my intuition was telling (almost yelling at me) that her hormones were synchronising with mine/my period. She's 8 years old, 9 in July. So I was hoping I was wrong, but 2 months ago she had a migraine on my first day of period (something she had never had before) and it was full on, lights off in the shower, vomiting from the nausea etc. I noticed the coincidence regarding timing and reached out to my sister and mother in law because there is a significant history of migraines in my husband's side. Fast forward four weeks and my daughter was reporting quite extreme pain and aches through her lower stomach, bottom and thighs. I gave her everything I could for pain relief and the heat packs I use (I have severe endometriosis). The pain was really prominent one day and an ache/less severe in the few following days. This event also directly coincided with the first days of my period.
I spoke to my Mum about it and she basically said I was insane to think she could be going into puberty this young. We've had a lot of stress occurring recently as my husband and I have separated due to him being arrested for wrong doings we had absolutely no idea he could or would do (turns out he is a full blown sociopath, has committed crimes against others and has stolen my identity and superannuation, amongst many other things, just shell shocking to be honest, but that's another post). In the face of my mother's comments and recent circumstances I thought okay, maybe it's stress related.
But this afternoon, my baby girl came to me and said "Mummy, how old were you when you got your period?" It was a random question. I have always been pretty open with my kids, they know no bounds in terms of privacy, I'm on the toilet or in the shower, they decide that's the perfect time to have an in-depth discussion about what happened today, despite me asking a few times prior đ¤Śââď¸đ Son is 12 (grade 8), daughter 8 (grade 3). As I mentioned I have endometriosis, so when I have my period I am really sick, so we've talked about it. I answered her and said 12, said I got it at school the first time and was unprepared but that I would make sure that never happened to her. She then went on to ask what puberty involved as I'd mentioned periods occurred as part of that. So I told her. Changes in hormones, growth of pubic hair in groin and underarms, onset of period. She then asked me if she could show me something. Of course was the answer and she asked me to come into the bathroom then proceeded to tell me that she thought she had extra hair growing down there. She showed me to explain and to my absolute shock, she had pubic hair starting to grow.
Firstly, Mumma's how did you navigate this time with your daughter? My approach has always been open and honest in a manner that aligns with age appropriate information. I'm going through this with my 12 (nearly 13 year old) son. He's in grade 8. He's experienced Sex Ed/Health this term at school and we've had really chilled and open conversations about puberty and sexual wellbeing. I set out to do better than my parents had with me and honestly think we've kicked goals in terms of open discussion and him being really comfortable to discuss what needs to be (especially in light of the situation with his Dad and his potential impending imprisonment at the worst possible fucking age... another clear success on his behalf đ¤Ź). I was ready for that with my son due to age and grade, but today left me feeling really unprepared for this next stage with her. She's so young and I wish I could just push things back a couple of years, for her sake!
Secondly, how do you recommend setting her up to successfully manage periods if they do occur in the next couple of years? The poor kid bawled her eyes out when she put two and two together, realising that the hair she had alerted me to meant that she was beginning the path towards having her period. She sobbed and it broke my heart. I reiterated that she wasn't alone ever and that I would make sure she had everything she needed to get through it when it did finally happen. She was terrified she would have it at school and that people would know. I told her that amazing things have happened in that space since I was her age and that there was no longer a huge pad to contend with, but great period undies and no one would know the difference. What else can I do to reassure and prepare her? I've seen that Kaz Cooke has a book out aimed at that age group regarding puberty. I suggested that I could get her that and she recoiled, which isn't like her usual self.
I feel I need to also mention that this poor kid is also a premmie, born at 30 weeks, who then surpassed her brother's milestone of exiting NICU (he was 32 weeks), then went on to lose her first tooth a week before her fifth birthday (again super early), crawled at 4.5 months corrected despite significant need for physiotherapy prior and seems to have been impatient with all of life's milestones ever since... she's a force and one that I love deeply and empower every day, but I just would love some guidance on navigating the next step because it seems to be worrying her so deeply like nothing has before.
Thanks Mumma's and apologies for the novel! Xxx
5 Replies
My daughter had precocious puberty. We went to see an endocrinologist as she bled for an entire year non stop fron 9 years old. He told me that if I'd seen him before she got her period he could have delayed it a couple years as it had ultimately stunted her growth 15 cm as they pretty much stop growing once they get their period.
I'd seen a GP when she was 8 as I was concerned she was developing too early. GP told me she was fine. Endocrinologist disagreed.
They did a bone scan on her left wrist at 9yo and her body age was 13.5 yo.
He put her on depo to stop the bleeding and she is to be weaned off it this year, she is now 15. Hopefully she won't have constant bleeding any more.
Your daughter is likely to be very mature for her age so she will adapt ok but I would get her an appointment with an endocrinologist just in case.
Itâs definitely time to have a chat to your GP, in some cases early puberty can be slowed, and can be caused by other medical causes.
So please get her in to the GP.
My niece was young and while hers couldnât be slowed down, she managed well with modi bodi period undies (wish they existed when I was young) and modi bodi bathers etc.
Oh your poor little babe, I feel so much for her. I think you can help her by making it as positive as possible even though it may not feel like a positive change to you both. You sound like a wonderful mummy and itâs great she feels so safe and comfortable to come to you about this as itâs so personal.
Can I ask you- is your daughter bigger than other girls her age or is she average size or smaller?
Oh poor girl. My eldest had pubic hair at 8 and got her period at 10.5. I also have terribly endometriosis and she seems to have inherited it. At 12 we put her on the pill to block her periods. Itâs helping although it took a few goes to find a pill she could tolerate.
Like you, I knew she was going to be on the earlier side. I bought her modibodi period underwear before she started her period and told her about them and she started wearing them. That meant that when she got her period she didnât have to do anything very different. We just had to discuss changing them more often or adding a pad on a heavy day. Other than the pain, she found them easy to manage. Good luck xx
Hiya! You sound like a wonderful mama! Itâs such a lot to navigate. My oldest daughter was 7.5 when I noticed she had pubic hair growing, she was in the Bath with her little sister I honestly couldnât believe it completely shocked. When I tried to discretely add it into the convo she said it had been there for while! I sobbed for days because I thought it meant she would get her period really soon even though she is a tiny girl, I did however notice she had body odour at that age too so things were definitely happening. I ended up taking her to the dr after going on google and getting myself into a panic state. We were under a specialist just for a year and they did bone scans as sometimes early puberty can mean other things but all was fine and was lining but with her age. She was monitored and then discharged. Fast forward to now almost 14 and still doesnât have her period! So doesnât always mean things will happen rapidly just from my experience but I would take her to the gp just to have a chat and go from there. Good luck and you sound like youâre doing all the right things!