We have good friends who are child free. We love them but its recently become a thing that they suggest we leave our children at home with a sitter on short notice.
We don’t have family locally and while we love our friends and would love a kid free night we’re not in a position to be paying a sitter regularly on top of a night out.
As a Compromise they usually get one of us at a time, or we offer to host them at our house so our children are able to play and enjoy themselves while we socialise.
However the suggestion has now become an almost everytime thing that we “leave the kids” how do we explain to them that we can’t just leave them? That a baby and seven year old aren’t exactly as easy to get a sitter for as it is to put a dog in the kennel for the weekend?
Child free friends don’t understand we can’t just leave our kids
Child free friends don’t understand we can’t just leave our kids
Posted in:
Kids
6 Replies
I think you just need to explain it as it is here, if they still don't get the point just ignore them. Unless they're 16 they really should be able to understand, it's pretty straightforward!
Don’t take it to heart. You are thinking too much of them. They don’t understand because they don’t have kids. I never did either until I had my own and realised I was completely on my own with no support. Next time just say I wish and tell them it’s not possible. Sorry you keep having to say no but we can’t do it. If they don’t understand then bye! I’d say they keep asking so you don’t feel uninvited all the time.
This is where life just changes. It’s hard to talk to someone when they’re chasing their kids. It’s hard to pay a sitter, it’s hard to do nights out, parents usually find the time during daytime. Things just change. You either find something that works or you don’t see them. Just tell them you can’t afford a sitter except for special occasions.
Sit down with your partner and work out what's doable, maybe a sitter 4-6 times a year? Be honest with yourself and what is affordable. If that is 2 times, it is what it is.
Then work out with your friends a mixture of outings and stay ins.
4 times a year kid free, these will probably be best around birthdays etc.
The rest of the time do a mixture of hosting at home, 2 girls go out and guys stay home, 2 guys go out and girls stay home, and family friendly outings.
I had the same situation with divorced dads and dating.
I have full-time care of my son. There is no magic on call other parent. If you want to make plans with me they have to be well ahead of time. I don’t only parent one weekend a fortnight.
You just have to be firm and they will either decide you are worth it or they will go away.
I have friends who's kids have grown up and moved out, and they act this way. Literally beg me, to let mu teens sit... my teens are not trustworthy one bit and they know this...
You can't explain reality to the ignorant.just say no and if the beg don't even look at Ur phone