My 14 year old daughter is being bullied at school. It’s been going on for 2 years now. It is really affecting her. She is getting terrible anxiety sometimes not wanting to go to school or going then calling me to pick her up. I’ve seen the school about it once before but she doesn’t want me to again because she says it just makes it worse. It’s different kids doing it all the time. She has been asking me to home school her. I don’t really have the option to do that at the moment. How can I help her? I’m about to book her in to see a psychologist. But I don’t know what else to do. It’s absolutely heartbreaking for me to see her go through this. She is starting to get very depressed. Help!
My daughter is being bullied, help!
My daughter is being bullied, help!
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Mental Health, Sisterhood Stories, Kids, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
6 Replies
Go to the school without her knowing. Speak to the principal about it. I did this recently at my daughters school.
A psychologist will help but they need to work in with the school and the school needs to know what’s happening.
They don’t need to tell her that you have been there. Ring up and organise an appointment with the principal ASAP.
I think you do need to intervene or make changes. I wouldn't go behind your daughter's back as she needs to know you're her safe person. Above all, her mental health needs to be protected.
Psychology can help her cope but won't stop the bullying.
If she's not safe at school then are there other options? Other schools? Even non traditional ones? My small city has a flexi school (with great results) and you can do TAFE from about 15. If she's studious then perhaps she could do home schooling at home alone with a more hands on online organisation. I've known kids who have done this because they can't stomach school bullying anymore.
I don't know if these help. I'm a bit trigger finger at the moment and looking at a private school we can't currently afford, because my son is starting to have issues with a child who has such bad behaviour he lives in a group home because no family (blood or foster) can deal with him. Yet he's in a mainstream school with no supervision or adjustments. It's so hard!
Keep her home for a week & Speak to the school in that time. Tell them how much it’s affecting her and what are their options for programmes in place with other learning centres, so she isn’t attending there as much. I am in the middle of This with my teen child at the moment. Not for bullying though. There are options. Is either that is she stays home. I wouldn’t risk my child’s mental health by living her in that awful environment. She needs a psychologist too.
I think one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids is the feeling of capability.
Martial Arts. Give the ability to defend, it only has to be one a week or fortnight. She doesn't have to become a black belt or do tournaments. Even just the knowledge and practice of blocking and disengaging from combat.
Build her up. Instead of commiserating over her bullies, help her laugh at how pathetic are. Dogs hunt in packs, it's no coincidence bullies do to. Laugh at their weakness. When she no longer respects or fears them they lose their power over her.
We live in a world where more and more we have to watch our own back, friends don't stick together like they used to, we have to have that confidence in ourselves and the ability to protect ourselves.
You don’t have to homeschool her, she can do it online through Distance Education (here in QLD anyway). It’s 8am-2pm with teachers. Mental health is way more important than grades at this age. She should be able to self-motivate as she has a reason to!
She has already told you what she needs from you and you said no. Your daughters mental health and wellbeing are in danger so listen to her when she tells you what she needs from you right now.
You absolutely can homeschool her if you are willing to make it work. It's up to YOU to put in the time and effort for your child.
She is 14 and can work independently on tasks you set. Or you could use on online curriculum like Education Perfect where the lessons are set and she follows them. Or you could school her outside of the traditional school hours for the few hours a day that homeschooling actually takes so it can be done around employement. Or she could do Distance Education online.
Try listening to your child properly and instead of dismissing what she says she needs. Find a way to make it work. If you don't she will stop talking to you and asking you for help and then... well I hope it doesn't come to that.