My husband and I separated in 2010 after multiple infidelities on his part and significant psychological abuse leaving me with anxiety and depression which is now being managed successfully with medication. Fast forward to now, and my children are teenagers and there's bickering and shouting on occasion, particularly from my teenage boy. I haven't been anywhere near any shouting and unpleasantness since separating and I'm finding I've been almost having a significant panic response when there is friction in the house, mainly the shouting and door slamming. It only clicked to me late the other night that this feels exactly what I felt when I was married and things were awful. It is leading me to not be disciplining as I could be as I'm just scared of this feeling in me when he is unhappy. Is this a sort of PTSD or is that a bit dramatic? I know some more sessions with a psych would be helpful but with a medically complex child, it is not something I can afford. Has anyone else experienced similar?
2 Replies
Yes
Yes!!! PTSD and it's about becoming aware of your triggers which can be retraumatising. I also spent a great deal of time when the kids were younger protecting them from exposure to the abuse and I overcompensated for everything after I left him. Tried so hard to make them happy. Problem is I now have very entitled teens and my ex is feeding them bs and telling them I owe them money as I get extra. I do not get child support from him, single parent pension and am about to cancel my ftb to stop him from continuing to threaten me.
Definitely talk to someone, there is some free DV counselling out there x