Okay so I know I’m going to get judged but please keep in mind im also asking for advice 😅
Firstly, I am single!
I have just found out im pregnant. I took a really cheap eBay pregnancy test and it was positive (followed by first response also positive) anyway, my periods are all over the place. I’m in my late 20s and I’ve not had a proper period for 3 months, just a couple days spotting here and there, however I had a 3 day heavy bleed which I assume is my last period (no bleeding since then) that was on the 1st of June for 3 days.
I’m on the pill, but didn’t use a condom and had sex on the 9th and 10th of June with one guy, and sex again on the 14th with another guy. I only tested as I need to for medical reasons. I tested on the 21st and was negative and again today the 23rd and it was positive. I’m assuming the father is most likely the guy I slept with on the 9th and 10th but is the 14th a possibility, he’s a real piece of work and I only found out after the fact 🥲🥲🥲
I know I won’t know for sure until I do a dna test if I decide to go through with the pregnancy. I also believe that the father should know regardless of what route I take. Firstly, any idea from anyone’s experience or knowledge who the father is? And secondly, can I do a dna test whilst pregnant? Thankyou 😅
14 Replies
As someone on the very far side of co parenting with "a piece of work" (now adult kids) i would strongly insist you think long and hard about continuing the pregnancy. Its not the best situation to even begin with. You will have 18+ years of either hell trying to co parent with someone you barely know but you know enough to say he's no good OR if you're lucky he will decide to have nothing to do with the child which means you will be doing everything by yourself while he is likely to be off somewhere playing happy families with your kids siblings.
It's hard to know, but I just want to add, I don't believe the father(s) need to know if you are going to terminate.
Cross that off the difficult conversations you need to have list.
If you do terminate, focus on your own healing, you don't have to deal with those guys.
Absolutely don't tell. They don't need to know and it might make a stressful time even more stressful.
When I was in my 20s, I probably would have said the same, but in my 40s, I'm much wiser and know how to avoid unnecessary drama.
Trust me op, none of them want this baby if it was casual, so telling them if you terminate, achieves nothing really.
Do you have other kids OP?
Id personally have an abortion. You don't need to tell the father if you do, it's just creating drama you don't need in your life.
Wonderful advice. Let's just fuck a few random dudes then destroy the life form that would have become a real person as a form of birth control because of irresponsible sexual choices of the mother.
The post says she was on the pill. Every woman has the right to do whatever she wants with her body, whether that's fuck random dudes, have an abortion or have a baby. Its nobody else's business, not even the guys she has slept with because they have a choice too. They don't have to sleep with women with no protection but they did. If they have no contact they don't need to know.
I'm so tired of the pro-life religious nuts, pushing their views on others.
If done early, it's a cluster of cells, no-one is killing anything.
I am sure OP has learnt her lesson.
I would get an STI check also OP.
Irresponsible sexual choices if the MOTHER????? WTF?? didn't she say she's on the pill? Why does the guy get a free ride here then?
OP don't listen to shit like this. It's not a real person. It's a clump of cells. Think long and hard. I've been married for 15+ years and after years of fertility struggles, I had numerous miscarriages, 2 children and 2 abortions, despite being in the pill and hubby having a visectomy 😳😳. Best 2 decisions as the timing for me wasn't right 🤷♀️
Dear anonymous poster who labels a woman irresponsible for using the pill and forcing them to continue a pregnancy which could potientally may become a real person and promote abortion as a form of birth control...
... you know, I guess you're right in the way you think if you lived in America and believe that the rights to access to abortion should be withdrawn from women and girls. You say birth control but you realise with the reversal of Roe vs Wade, access to women's health care has been pressed backwards making access to birth control harder?
That's American democracy.
In Australia, we still preserve rights to both life, prevention of life and women's health care choices.
So unless you're happy about coat hangers, douching with bleach, using glad wrap for condoms, and asking your parents permission to get the pill then my recommendation is to keep your poorly informed ethics to yourself and share them with your equally nasty community.
I'd just get an abortion and be done with it.
I've had casual sex and one night stands. Even with birth control (I have a mirena and use condoms) I go get the morning after pill and take it.
Ensure you have regular STD checks. That's important.
I'm on the otherside of parenting with a difficult father and it's been a nightmare for everyone involved. Don't put yourself through that trauma and bring a child into a world where he doesn't know any better.
If you don't want babies, come up with a plan and stick to it. Don't tell these fathers either if you plan on keeping the pregnancy.
You can test paternity through CVS and genetic testing. Or taking feral blood but that's just saying to me your committed to the pregnancy regardless of who's the father.
Just get an abortion and make changes to how you prevent pregnancy in the future.
Hello OP, Kelly here from the Imperfect Mum team - scheduling questions to put on Facebook... but I don't think putting your post on FB will be a good idea.
The 2 questions you have asked would best be asked of a GP, so I hope you are able to see one soon. You deserve personal and private care and because every body is different - they can ask questions specific to your body.
If you need finances for this, please message the FB page 'Attn: Kelly' and I will help from my own pocket.
Big hugs for the upcoming weeks.
xKelly
How wonderful are you ladies that run this page! OP look after yourself and I agree see a GP and make an informed decision based on your personal circumstances ♥️ Whatever you decide be kind to yourself.