I have been with my partner for 3 years. In the last year he had been diagnosed with C-PTSD, and ADHD and depression. He seeks attention online, and has done this in all relationships that I know he has been in. He has just started on meds for ADHD and this is supposed to address impulse control. I am hanging on by a thread in this relationship. Do I wait and see what the meds and psychology appointments do? He has booked weekly sessions with his psychologist to try and address this behaviour. Am I holding on for nothing? I still love him and want to support him.
6 Replies
What do you mean by seeks attention online? That could mean a number of things like posting personal stuff or do you mean he is talking to other women? If he's talking to other women then I don't think you can blame ADHD or PTSD. Take those out of the situation and what would you do? That's what you should do.
No one can give you the answer to this... sometimes there's light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes there's not.
My partner is a recently diagnosed adhd person and for me personally, maintaining this relationship is dependant on his commitment to working towards his goals and me forgiving the wrong doings / things that don't align with my morales. You both have to put the work in for you and yourselves it's not simply one sided if that makes sense. If your partner has done things to upset you, you need to see someone to work through those and find an inner-standing if you're able to get past these, if and when, they become better.. it's about you too, what do you want - you matter 💝
I'm all for staying, working through things, in sickness and in health as you are a team.
But in this case, you aren't a team, he's betrayed you.
I have ADHD and major depression, but I would never cheat.
If he were bipolar and manic, maybe I would consider the condition as extenuating circumstances, but not impulsiveness from ADHD.
He has control, he chooses this.
You deserve better lovely x
I think on top of his own appointments, maybe couples councelling will go a long way. You should notice a change in his behaviour almost right away with his meds for his adhd, and it may take a whole to find the meds that will work best. Its not a "fits all" thing. You both will need time to adjust to the "new".
As for the "attention" issue. With out knowing context, it's hard to answer. If he's having emotional affairs, then that's a big issue. If its just him being an over sharer, attention seeking, then therapy will help that.
I have inattention and difficulties with impulse control... I also have the PTSD diagnosis. I also battle to not give in to those things daily so those I love do not have to suffer. You said you still love him and want to see what happens. Maybe give him and yourself a little time to see what happens. You do not have to rush any decision. However, do not let him use his diagnosis as an excuse to not even try. I am trying my butt off over here 😞
Thank you for your comment. I wanted to reply to you to say how much I admire you and appreciate your comment. I can see how much my partner is actually trying and it is really difficult but he is doing everything he can to do better. Sounds like you are consciously doing that too. There is no quick fix in my situation, just time. I wish you all the best too!!!!