How do we manage? How do we continue from here?
Financially, I feel we are at breaking point. We live on the outskirts of Sydney, moving isn’t an option. Our Mortgage is less than $375k and we have no other debts, no credit cards etc.
I have just redone our budget and after bills, food, childcare, etc we are left with about $100 a week to cover incidentals, entertainment etc. I have just returned from unpaid maternity leave so our savings have taken a hit.
My child has been identified as possibly having inattentive ADHD, but I’ve been quoted over $2500 to have this diagnosed. I’m heartbroken and it’s tipped me over the edge mentally. Their symptoms are me as a child. I can’t let this go and hope my child figures out how to deal just like I had to. I am not a successful adult and honestly feel if inattentive ADHD had been recognised as a child, my life would be very different.
Side quest over, is the cost of living situation ever going to improve? Or are companies just going to keep boasting record profits while we suffer for the basics? I just don’t know how I can keep putting my hand in my pocket all the time. I already do our shopping online so I can cut extras if we go over budget.
I don’t get nails, hair etc. My husband has no luxuries either, even cutting his own hair. I have already combined mobiles and internet (mobiles are 5+years old), we only have one car that is 12 years old… we don’t have the best/newest of anything… but it’s getting to the point that if something were to fail, I don’t know how we would pay for it. I don’t know what else I can cut from our budget to manage.
Husband works full time (industry is very quiet so O/T is reduced), I work PT and am looking into a Christmas casual job as I can’t pick up additional hours at work without inducing more childcare costs. We have 2 children (primary school and daycare aged).
I don’t even know what my question is. I guess, does anyone have any additional tips? Anyone in the same boat?
Also, I want to say that I am acutely aware of how fortunate I am to have minimal debt and the physical ability to work. I know there are people in much, much worse situations and for a very long time I have been grateful that I could manage us into our fortunate position. I am the person that used to pay for random peoples food in cafe’s. Or would put money on the counter at a shoe shop to help someone less fortunate buy school shoes for their kids. When I could, I did.
Thanks for making it this far. I hope someone reads this and feels seen.
15 Replies
We’re all in the same boat. I have a credit card that keeps going up and up. I have reigned my spending in enormously now, no splurges, no coffees, no online shopping, I choose a takeaway dinner or tuck shop lunch very carefully and rarely.
As for adhd diagnosis, get a public referral to paed and they’ll put the diagnosis through. It takes longer but once you’re in it’s fast, and free. Worth getting your name on the list now anyway, the year will pass regardless. The benefit of diagnosis is ndis financial help for therapies he needs.
NDIS doesn't cover ADHD, unfortunately.
Unfair, but my friend was told that because it can be medicated it doesn't count!
I have a similar mortgage and I'm on my own, with a car loan, one income, small amount of centrelink.
You're better off getting a new full time job than a second job, imo.
After school care fees aren't too bad for one and I thought daycare charge per day anyway.
The little one will move to school soon I assume, that will bring fees down a bit and you will have your foot in the door with more pay.
If you are struggling with that size mortgage, I assume your income isn't heaps, so you would be getting childcare subsidies as well.
You have to do what you have to do to survive.
Could your husband (or you) look into getting a higher paid job? We've just done this, husband has left our business to get employment elsewhere as we were afraid we were just going down the toilet.
Starting out we worked opposite shifts. He was dayshift and I was nightshift. Meant we could both work FT jobs with minimal external child care required.
Might be worth looking into.
Most people I know aren't even left with $100 after everything important is paid...
I know right? Id love to have $100 left
Same, I'm always in the red, would like to be able to just cover expenses at the moment.
Me too. I'm paying more than I earn in bills ATM and am constantly having to supplement with my savings.
She said the $100 still has to cover incidentals, so you’ll probably find she’s having to spend that too.
In all that post, that’s what you’re focusing on.
Yes but a lot of people don't even have that amount for incidentals...and yes I'm focusing on it because it's what the post is about so I'm confused by your second sentence.....
How is that helpful? What a great way to make the OP feel like a piece of shit and push her closer to the edge.
So what if she has more than others that does not lessen her struggle or make her difficulties less. She is feeling down and stressed and cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel. And you come along and make her feel like she is less than and has no right to have these feelings. You are a horrible person and you need to take a good look at yourself.
We all know $100 is basically an extra loaf of bread that’s not budgeted for! This is stressful for the OP and your situation may be different to hers but no need to make her feel unworthy of asking a question because she has made smart financial choices up until this point.
Shop around for different clinics that diagnose, you are not just stuck with who your gp recommends. I was also quoted 2500, a few phone calls later, the same report and initial appointments with both the lead and psyc for 1500. 4 years later and I am still attending this clinic.
In regards to cutting costs, some little things to look at: streaming services (Stan, Netflix, prime) online subscriptions, gym fees, phone / internet plans. I tend to forget these things as they are set to be direct debited over the month.
I felt like this a few years ago, the only way out of it was me. My husband was working and doing what he could, I was working as well.
I went back to uni and educated myself, I was 30. I picked a degree that I knew would be gain me employment (I’m a teacher now). It took me 5 years to do the degree because I had a baby in between. The 5 years of study were hell and I hated every minute……. But I am now in my 4th year of teaching and I LOVE it most of the time. Depending on your situation you may be eligible for centerlink to help while studying. I’m so happy I changed our situation. Since then I can’t believe how much our life has changed.
Sure life is busy and teaching is always hard, but I would take this life over what I was doing.
I was in hospitality management and my pay is now around double of what it used to be.
Cost of living is killing us as well, but thankfully with of us working we’re not living pay check to pay check like I know some people are.
As for the ADHD for your child. I would try and put away $10 or $20 a week for the specific diagnosis. It might take a while but you’ll get there and you can move forward with diagnosis.