I’m so lonely. I have a husband and kids but I’m still so lonely. Husband is always working or just wants to relax on his days off. Never wants to do anything. Kids are off doing things with friends. I have zero friends. No one to really talk to at all. Everyone on my Facebook friends list seems to know each other one way or another. Liking each other’s posts and commenting. Everyone knows everyone. The most likes I get on Facebook or Insta is like 5, and it’s so embarrassing!
My life is completely opposite to what I wanted growing up. It’s so depressing. No money, no friends, renting, a family of non achievers and I’m sure I’m getting uglier by the day.
And is it just me or does skinny privilege exist. It’s like people can’t associate with us bigger girls or something. I’m so over it. More likely than not, us bigger girls are bigger because we’re depressed or something going on in our life where we turn to food for comfort. Everyone talks about how ‘they’re getting so big’ or ‘god she’s put on a lot of weight’ but no one asks ‘are you okay’.
Sorry, just feeling really down at the moment.
My life is opposite to everything I wanted
My life is opposite to everything I wanted
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Self Care, Sisterhood Stories, Health & Wellbeing
5 Replies
So change your life! I can tell you now, being fat might be making you depressed, but it's the depressed that steers people away from you, not the fat.
I have many friends and friend groups, and everyone is a different size from extremely large to extremely small - and nobody cares. We even go clothes shopping together & yes the size 6 girl will rummage through & find a size 26 to take to the friend in the dressing room.
You're fat-shaming yourself, nobody else is doing it.
Do you have a job? If not, get one - even just part time retail. (Your post sounds like you're a SAHM).
That's how you'll meet people, and it will vastly improve your self-confindence.
From what you've written, it honestly sounds like your self-confidence is the main source of your problems.
It's super hard to get out of your rut & out of your comfort zone, but once you take the first big step, it'll make a massive change to your life!
I'm a bigger girl and it's just unfortunate you feel like this. I'm not sure what you do independent of your family but I enrolled into university. I developed relationships outside of the home and they didn't have ties or mutual friends with people on my Facebook. Once I finished university, I got a job. It wasn't within my chosen field but I used some experience to draw down and apply to my job. My job also connected me with other people and their lives.
I found my support people and developed my life outside my home. This is probably something you should look at doing.
My friends vary in size. You'd be surprised but people who care about you don't care what you look like as long as your a good person and genuinely don't feed into toxicity that erodes not only your self but impacts upon theirs. Think of it as the crab that tries to crawl out of a basket but the other crabs pull him back, stopping them from growing.
It's up to you to make decisions about your happiness and not on others to like your images/posts on Facebook.
Are you working? Studying? Volunteering? Hobbies? Something for yourself. Something that you need to get up and go to. Opportunities to meet people outside your family. It takes courage to put yourself out there but be brave, don’t let your size stop you!
Oh love, it's a rabbit hole.
Sounds like your kids are older now? Have you got a job or can you volunteer? Anything to break the status quo.
I got very comfortable doing things solo. After not doing anything for so long I couldn't wait any more, women in my family die young. I could be looking at 20 years tops - and there's a bloody big bucket list to get through. Every day you wait is a day less you have. Don't squander it just because your husband chooses to. Everyone starts off the same way. "Everyone will look at me and wonder why I'm by myself". What do YOU think when you see a solo woman out? Do you pity her? God no. Any normal woman is looking at her thinking "Fuck I wish I could do that".
When you can sit comfortably in that you'll attract like minded people. It won't matter what you think you look like, or what you weigh. Those things aren't what makes the world go round mate.
I am a smaller girl, but my friend group is a variety of body shapes and sizes. Mental attitude is more important for friends than body size. I've noticed that those who dislike their bodies/mind/life tend to make it a self fulfilling prophecy. Good luck. Hope you can feel better about your life and live to the fullest