My husband and I are at that time in our lives where everything is busy. We both have careers and work full time. We have 3 children who attend private schools, have after school sports and after school jobs (two of them). We both earn reasonable money. But we are busy. I'm tired and I hate being in this monotony. Cooking, cleaning, kids, work and repeat. I need some sort of change - holidays, house improvements, a cleaner ... something. But our income pays our mortgage, kids schooling and bills. We aren't struggling but we don't have much leftover. My husband would quite happily live as we are for the rest of our lives and sees no need for any change. Our air conditioning died a year ago and he was quite happy to leave it. He sees it as a luxury. I borrowed money from my family to pay for it as he didn't want to pull any money from the mortgage (we could have, we have a reasonable amount of equity). I could think of nothing worse than staying where we are for the rest of our lives. I'd like to sell and downsize. Or pull the kids out of their private schooling to allow more flexibility with my work (spend more time with the kids). But he doesn't see the need. If it happens it will be my decision alone. If there are consequences, they will also be mine (as in if our children struggle with changing schools). When the kids finish school, I'd love to live and work overseas, I'd love to travel more overseas, I'd love to have more time to spend with the kids and their interests. I'm tired of having to advocate for our middle child, who is neurodiverse as my husband does not know how to communicate with him and can escalate him. I know I'm burnt out but seriously. I'm tired of him. I'm going to see a psychologist soon but just wanted other thoughts.
3 Replies
Find a hobby. Maybe pick a language for future travel and do 10 minutes a day on Duolingo. You sound bored and fatigued. Something small to fill your bucket might make everything else less overwhelming.
You said one of your kids is neurodiverse, is there a chance you are too? I feel overwhelmed and burnt out constantly and I’m about to be assessed for adhd(2 to of my kids have it). I personally wouldn’t take the kids out of private school but what to your kids think about changing schools?
I could be writing this post, exchange three kids for one. My hubby recently changed his job for a much lower paying one to avoid the stresses he was experiencing but it is really into a dead-end, think-less job, and I’m finding we have much less things to talk about and he’s not interested in anything much. The drop in pay has been substantial and I feel like we are going backwards. I’m just hanging in there until such time (probs about 2-3 years) til our child is old enough to stay home by themselves and then I’m very much hoping we could get a life back and go and do a couple of things a week for ourselves; like go to the movies; or go to trivia nights; or go salsa dancing, something. I guess I’m writing a response to say you are not alone and that I feel you, girl.