EDIT: Court in 7 days

Where do I begin. I need strength. I need every bit of strength that I have in my body.

In 7 days I head off to trial with my ex.
I don't know if you remember me but 2 years ago I posted here asking for advice. I was dating a guy who turned out to be a narcissist. He jumped my back fence one night after I ened things. I asked him not to come around, my child was asleep. But he did. He made a scene. He scared my child, banging on her window waking her up, she wet the bed in fear. He got into the house. I used all my strength and got him out. I was on the phone to my parents who called the police. He was arrested and and IVO was taken out. He is a school teacher of kids my child's age at the time (6 years).
I was pregnant at the time and decided I couldn't go ahead. Not with this man.
I beat my self every day for doing what I did. But there is no going back now. Grief has stayed with me.
He then started to drop things at my house, baby items he had bought. Notes, flowers. They came about 3 times. I went to the police. Again he was just asked to stop.
But another one came. Again just asked to stop.

I was advised by a lot of you strong women here to let his school know. So I did. And I don't regret it. I was interviewed by the catholic education department. So was my child. It turned our he was already under investigation for similar things.
My barrister went to the tribunal with the Catholic education department to subpoena the paper work. We succeeded.
They haven't handed it over yet. The magistrate last court case said he was personally going to get it.

I moved house. And a few weeks later saw him driving past, stopped at the end of the drive way. Reported Again

It has now been 28 months since separation. And about 32 court cases.
In that 28 months I found out he was living another life with another women. He was trying for babies with both of us. Had us both fooled.
We became friends though our recovery.
We have no contact now.
A bit of fun from here side she sent him a card in the mail that said I have something to tell you. When you open it up, out popped a penis that said "eat a d***". She also sent a very large
shapped penis chocolate along with it.

After that the police came knocking. He put an order on me. Saying he doesn't have proof it was me who sent those things but "I know its her". He said I ruined his career by sending the IVO to his work. He said I park to close to his house when collecting my child from school. He lives 200m away.
He has never showed the court evidence. They have asked but he doesn't have any.

The police never stopped coming. They wouldn't believe me when I told him he was stalking me. Where ever I parked my car to get my child, changed it daily. He was waiting taking photos of my car and reporting me being within distance.
He was waiting for me every day. He was to stay away too I told the police.
They asked me to move my child school.
She is ADHD/ASD and is hearing impaired. She has one on one support every day. She has a whole school full of Hearing devices. I can't just move her. I told them maybe he could move house.. same same.

He then came to my work to have bloods done. My work! out for 32 other places he could of gone. I reported this.
He put forward that I was then changed for "breach of privacy" for letting out medical information.
He wrote a report to my manager. Who asked me to resign as it was to much to deal with. And to come back when it was over.
Not even my work place supported me. They knew I had an order out and what was happening in my life. I never went back.

I went to the criminal courts and he walked Scott free!! He said he didn't think I was going to be there that day, his Dr told him to go there. I asked the police if they asked his Dr for that evidence. They didn't.
I asked for the case to be reopen. They did and then closed. They said they don't have another prof he went there.
So why am I in the criminal courts being charged if he didn't come?!
The magistrate said he remembered this case from a year back look at me and said I have to do something, so be good for 3 months.
I felt validated again.

I thought it couldn't get worse.
It did.
He found my child's dad. We have had 0 contact for 9 years. We moved interstate, he to was DV. We don't get child support we wanted peace. This man came to visit my ex. They took photos and put them all over FB together. My friends showed me.
He wrote a stat Dec saying my ex was another victim of my abuse and he will stand in court to testify against me.
He doesn't know I have over 2000 messages and emails of the abuse I went though. The texts telling me I must abort my child, that i will f her up she is better off dead, the one I have now.
I have it all. It will be shown in court. But it shouldn't have to be. He shouldn't be a part of this..
I felt SO violated. I locked my self and my child inside for weeks to he went home.

In 7 days I have to attend court. And see both my abuses. Listen to them throw mud. Run my name into the ground.
I am so much stronger now. But my anxiety it high. The little girl in me is terrified.
It's a 2 days trial. I'm worried I will be so traumatised, not from just seeing them, but having to talk about it all to the room and hearing them, yet again put me down.

I see a psychologist and a Psychiatrist along with my daughter too. Who is still to this day worried he will again bang on her window waking her up.

Please tell me I can do this. Please tell me it trial isn't as scary as it sounds.
I tried my hardest in this situation to say I didn't send anything in the mail. I didn't know it was happening. I tried my hardest to end things. I sent him messages not to come to my house that night. He wanted to return my things. I didn't want them back I just didn't want to see him again after he verbally abused my and my child. Called her dumb, stupid, retarted. That is why I didn't want him around us any more.
My heart broke and I was just getting though every day at a time

Thank you for listening xx