Am I being horrible just wanting a weekend just my partner and I?
We haven't been away together, ALONE, for over 2 years.
It's been a very hectic 2 years too, and we have been on the brink of separating a couple of times too.
Some friends of ours have bought us 2 nights away for helping them out, which I am so grateful for.
Problem is, the location is near some of his family, and last time this happened, they practically demanded to see my partner on both days (which he felt obligated to do).
This family does not go out of their way to see us, ever, but when we are there, it's like it's expected.
Am I wrong to ask that this weekend please just be about us?
Am I wrong for wanting time alone
Am I wrong for wanting time alone
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
7 Replies
i think it depends how far away the family are from you, the usual cost for them to visit you and you to visit them.
An extreme example, if you were flying to germany and they are there, then yes, you should lol
if you live in cairns and you're visiting townsville, then no, i wouldn't see them.
It's only 2 hours away, so no, not too far at all
When you say "near" do you mean a couple of minutes away, a quick surprise visit wouldnt be too much of an inconvenience?
Or do you mean, "near" as in within or close to the general vicinity but a catch up would take considerable planning and a large sacrifice of your time/holiday?
If it's option A, make some time for a short visit (on the way home so they can't monopolise his time).
If it's option B, I don't see why you'd even have to tell then you were near by.
I think you and your partner need to get on the same page though and perhaps a fair compromise is warranted given that your relationship has been on shaky ground recently.
It's about 20/30 min away from them, further up, not on the way home either.
I'm selfishly hoping he doesn't tell them we are going to be up that way this time.
if you do bite the bullet and see them, make sure you go to them, so you can stay as long as you want. tbh, i would probably do a quick pop in, or your partner might be resentful and feel guilty and that won't make for a good trip.
I'd ask your partner to not tell them, just this once, as you need the couple time. It's not unreasonable at all. I deliberately book nowhere near family or people who expect to monopolise our time as holidays are sacred to me & should be free of obligation visits.
I do understand it's difficult, and the guilt aspect as my partner is also well trained in the family guilt department. I got pulled up & publicly berated at MIL's funeral by her brother for not visiting them when in their area - two years prior. I'd asked MIL beforehand if they had moved there yet (before booking) & she'd said no so I shoved that in his face. I couldn't believe it!! I'm pissed off because it's a nice spot & we can't go there anymore.
Your other option is to compromise & call when leaving to come home, or meet at a restaurant or picnic area etc.
I agree, ask partner not to say anything so you get that time to focus on yourselves as a couple. Then after checking out stop in for an hour or so to say hello before returning home.