Hi-
I have a friend - who has found herself in the worst situation- I don’t have all the facts - but I just know the she has been removed from her home - and not allowed to see her children. (DHS)
One of a few reasons is they did some drug screening.. that returned positive results.
My friend in the 14 years or so I have known her has never even been seen to sip alcohol at any function or party we have ever attended and I have never seen anything that would lead me to believe she takes drugs ( but I know you can’t know everything about a person)
I do know however - that she is treated by her doctors for mental health and takes a few prescribed medications for this reason-
I suspect that these medications are returning a positive result for the drugs DHS are concerned about she absolutely swears that she hasn’t done these drugs and I do believe her -
We both went and seen her doctor together today- and they were not very helpful- they did confirm it could be her medications but offered no real support or wouldn’t change her medications-
I honestly don’t know what or how to help this family- the kids are with dad - but mum needs help- she has some things she needs to work on but I swear this is probably the biggest one and the most untrue one-
If she doesn’t return clean tests they won’t let her see her children- going off her medications isn’t really an option but does seem like the only option- DHS want to find something and it seems even thought they aren’t doctors are crucifying her despite knowing she is prescribe a number of medications for adhd etc that are amphetamine based - I’ve never seen her off her face - or any behaviour that says she’s a drug addict and I do know what to look for growing up and being around it as a child and leaving home at a young age myself- so I’m not niece or blind .
It feels like her against them- and seeing her in so much pain and hurt is killing me and I’m worried about her-
DHS have basically made her leave - she isn’t allowed to see her children and they really aren’t communicating or giving her any information.
Does anyone know anything about these situations, if an honest person is accused wrongfully ( she’s not completely innocent there are some issues but this one I honestly believe isn’t true) what can we do - who we can talk to- external review - someone that can advocate for her - ? I don’t think it’s fair that her medical and medications aren’t being taken into consideration…
16 Replies
I don't know much about this but I would assume she would have been referred to a support agency to help her through the process? Massive system failure if these parents are just left to navigate all this by themselves especially if they are suffering mental health or addiction. You are a good friend for helping her, do try and get her to see a support worker that can help her through it. She should also get legal advice about the drug screening. If it is just adhd medication then why wouldn't she stop taking it to prove that its from that and get her kids back? Obviously a lot more to the story for it to have got to this stage, I'm not judging at all but just make sure you're not enabling her to think she's a victim in all of this if she's done wrong. She needs to be honest with herself before she can improve, make sure she knows she can be honest with you so you can support her to get her kids back.
Thank you- she has said she would stop taking it- but I’m not sure that’s a good idea - she’s taking it for a reason and it’s too support her mental health - it’s never advised just to stop these medications and with everything going on I think she needs it more to support her now than ever - but she has definitely said she would stop taking it to prove a point- just not sure that’s actually in her best interest mentally - as I think her diagnosis is More than just adhd but depression and possible a personality disorder
Neither dad nor mum have been referred to anyone and we are struggling to support/ navigate and not sure where to turn.. we are looking at trying to find get legal advise it just hasn’t been as easy as we thought living rural and in the country
That's terrible that they have had no support at all. Maybe put the area and state in the post, people might be able to recommend services.
Even if she stops taking the medication, it will still show up in a urine drug screen for 3 months.
Amphetamines? I think they go through the system pretty quickly that's how miners and trades get away with using it.
That's weed not meth. Meth will flush from system pretty quick.
No, urine and blood will only test positive for 7-10 days. 1cm of hair analysis will test from 1-2 months.
I do have personal experience with DHHS, you shut up and jump through every hoop, whether you agree or not. You are polite and cooperative. Do not under any circumstances be aggressive or combative.
There is probably more you don't know. What she needs is a psychologist they can do reports to DHHS that can be helpful.
I know I had to see a psychologist and take my meds. It was part of my orders. I had supervised custody so I had my son but I couldn't leave with him he was technically in my dads custody.
That was so I wouldn't go back to my abusive ex, my ex had to do drug tests, had supervised visits and had to do man's behaviour change program. Which he didn't do.
I got back full custody, he lost all his rights. Just follow the orders and jump through every hoop.
I dont know you, but I wish I did. You should be so proud of yourself. I wish I sore this kind of thing more often. I wish my step kids mum would do the same thing. Have you thought about working with DJC about talking with these parents about how working hard has positive results? Our local office does this and it makes a world of difference, seeing parents taking responsibility and making positive changes helps others take more responsibility also
Iv been involved with DHS, now call DCJ in nsw for years with family and friends. I currently have kinship care of my cousin and neice. I can tell you. On a drug screen they take into account your current medications and the levels in your system. Low reading such as dex, will mean your following your medication regulations.
As much as ppl hate the systems, it takes an awful lot for them to actually step in and remove the children. Several reports need to be made by the public, and officials like drs, teachers and police. Then after assessments, a court order needs to be made by the courts. That means reports from the departments. Interviews with schools drs, and the parents. Any agreements with the parents made and agreed upon that have not been met. Proof needs to be shown to have children removed. Yes you will hear stories of ppl claiming wrongful removals, and yes it happens, but it's rare. Before removal, parenting plans are put in place with all those involved. Like attending councilling, support groups like AA. regular substance testing, house inspections and so on. In most cases the process can take months befor any court action is taken.
You can't help a person who cannot do the basics to follow through for their kids. It's a sad reality. There is even a good chance her specialist was the one to make the report. My sisters AA sponcer was the one to report her. We had no idea she had a drinking or drug problem. No idea she was Abusing her kids. Sore no signs of neglect at all. Your friend clearly didn't follow her agreement. A judge found just cause for thr removal.
Support her by attending all her appointments with her, perhaps go to support groups with her for support. Offer her the option to call you if she feels like she's slipping and may turn to drugs. But unless she truly wants to clean up, your knocking your head against a wall.
I hope she truly appreciates everything your doing for her, and I hope she truly wants to sore herself out not just for her kids sake, but herself.
Hello thank you -
No court orders are in place - she was just told leave the family home shared with the kids and her husband or we will take the kids so naturally she left.
Not much else has been said- this was confirmed by her husband also, they’ve done some testing and home visits but that’s about it and just told her she can’t be around the children at all because of her screening results
She would have signed an agreement. It's not legally binding, but, it will either work for or against her if she doesn't comply. She's lying to you. Like I said, it's a big prosess. Sadly, so many parents in her position do not like to admit wrong doing, and make excuses. Like using her medication as an excuse for a failed drug test.
I thought it took a lot to remove kids too. But nope, reports have to be taken seriously, my friend was reported by a vindictive ex and IVO placed. Months to be cleared by DHS (eventually found she was perfectly safe & him the problem). Now long wait for IVO hearing. So no access to her kids all based on lies. Police and DHS believe and support her, but now stuck in the system. Nightmare
It is highly unlikely that her prescribed meds are being held against her.
It is lovely she has a friend like you in her corner but I think it is more likely that she abuses drugs and has tested positive than she has tested positive for using prescribed meds.
DHS don’t just remove children for 1 positive drug screen. There would be more going on and it would have been through the courts. Tell her to seek legal advice.