I don't know where to start! But here goes..
I'm not in love with my husband anymore! I havnt felt a connection or been sexually attracted to him for many years but life goes on & just continued to go on. I've finally got the courage up to tell him how I feel & for obvious reasons, didn't take it well. I've been having counselling to help work through these feelings & that's helped me understand why I feel disconnected.
He won't accept that I'm not in love with him & wants to try anything & everything to make it work. I dont feel I can make it work as these feelings have been suppressed for a very long time & I've tried for a long time to get them back but I think im checked out. Money is a massive issue atm so I cant just leave & get my own place & have no family close to board with.
I really dont know what I'm asking, more of a vent to see if anyone has been in a similar situation.
Not in love anymore
Not in love anymore
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
4 Replies
I can't imagine being told by my spouse that they don't love me and having them stay in my space while I fell apart. You should move out. A friend, a colleague, a room for rent... Anything is better than putting someone through that.
Yeah, well said, I've been through similar, ended up having a nervous breakdown.
I think sometimes in marriage you go through patches where you have to work really hard and make the choice to stay. How long have you been married? If you truely believe that you can’t work on it, you need to leave. Find a way to leave for both of you.
Spend some money on your marriage, counseling, couples retreats (Nadine Muller does one - it would be an investment to your marriage, she does payment plans). You need to make a choice right now, stay and work hard, remember why you fell in love or leave, don’t leave him hanging.
I was in this position, but my ex was manipulative and controlling and all that fun stuff. If you have a good man and you feel that if you work on things it will improve then definitely try couples counseling.give him space to process what you have told him becuase it is probably like a dagger to his heart atm. I tried to suggest this with my ex and suggest we do things together but he also didn’t take it well when I told him as soon as I said I felt like I’m loosing feelings and feel like I’m just a housewife that isn’t allowed to do anything but look after the kids and house he took it straight away as I don’t love him that’s it and he didn’t try anything, I stayed another 2.5 years before it finally got so bad I just left and stayed with my sister for 3 months while I got myself a job, a car and my own place(he gave me nothing but $2.500).
It was so so hard and still is but in my situation I and my kids are much happier and relaxed.
But definitely if you feel like he is a good man and it is worth the fight then try everything you can to fix things before you call it quits becuase you may think the grass is greener but it’s greener where you water it.