My partner and I have 3kids two are his we have them full time and one newborn. We are due to get married soon. But I am really struggling as soon as the weekend hits my partner drinks most Friday and Saturday nights and I end up having to look after him because he gets so bad he vomits. I’m lucky to get 4 hours sleep on the weekend nights. He then sleeps till midday so I am always left to look after the three kids which I do during the week as I am a stay at home mum. I only got two hours sleep on Saturday night because he decided he wanted to go to the pub I don’t sleep when he his out as I worry about him being safe and how much money he spends.
He got home about midnight and I went out and he just wanted to chat as some stuff is happening in his side of the family which has brought up past trauma for him.
I went to try go to sleep but he turned up the music loud at 3am so I went out turned it off told him to go to bed once in bed he turns the tv in to watch a movie to fall asleep. The newborn is in the room with us. I said nope if your doing that you can go out so he went and slept in one of the other child’s room as he was at a sleep over. In this time frame the baby has woken so I got him back to sleep and as soon as I start to doze off I hear my partner choking and vomiting I go in there super exhausted and angry and said to my partner that he needs to choose alcohol or me and our bub
I feel terrible about giving an ultimatum but I’m over this every weekend. And I doubt he will even remember
During the week he works hard and we are perfect but as soon as the weekend comes it happens all over again.
I just am over it and so are the kids.
Like I don’t mind him having a few beers after a long week but writing himself off is getting exhausting.
Any advice ??
Advice please partners drinking habits
Advice please partners drinking habits
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Health & Wellbeing, Behaviour
3 Replies
He's an alcoholic. Get your ducks in a row, take your baby & leave. An ultimatum might work short term, but he'll slip back in to the habit. He has to WANT to change. Right now he has zero respect for you. You're his free child care & housekeeper.
Also let the guilt go. You're not the problem. You're simply asserting what you won't put up with. 👏
It might be possible he'll get a shock, get help & become sober. Personally, I'd always be worried about a relapse so couldn't go back.
why would you plan a wedding and have a baby with this man?
you need to leave and he needs to get his shit together for at least a year before you consider letting him back.
make better life choices in the future.
No advice. But my husband was a functioning alcoholic, worked night shift and had undiagnosed high blood pressure. He recently had a devastating stroke, in which all the above has contributed in.
Please get him in to a doctor or take him to an Al Anon meeting. He needs help and your family deserves so much better