My husband's best friend has separated from his wife. There's no reason other than he's unhappy. Obviously, my husband wants to look after her and the children aswell as his best friend. The problem I have, is that its causing conflict between us. I'm unimpressed with the comments made by his best friend for eg- 'I won't date anyone until after Xmas', or ...'my future partner'...it's literally insulting to his beautiful wife and children, that he could possibly think about himself and future when days prior, he's broken their heart's. My partner and I are not in agreement as to any of this. I've been through this ice cold behaviour with my ex husband. He is actually a good human.. and after some time I understood out differences. I know my thoughts on this and how it feels. I now have a great co-parenting relationship with my ex because I'm very forgiving and regardless of what happened, we are very emotionally mature people as are our children. My current partner has a volatile relationship with his ex which is also exhausting. He can't accept my frustrations and anger towards his best friend. I'm polite, but right now, I'm thinking of the children and his wife. Everything he says about their conversations angers me. I'm trying, and to be honest I'm speaking in a calm tone and expressing my thoughts..but my husband is offended by any rebuttal and completely dismissive.. to the point of I have to agree. I'm very angry and don't know how to deal with it. Please help!!!
3 Replies
It's hard to watch your friends go through a hard time but whatever he is saying to your partner probably shouldn't go beyond the two of them. He's not a bad person for ending the relationship and he's not a bad person for thinking about dating in the future. Ask your partner to stop telling you what he's saying, the less you know what he is doing the less guilty you will feel being able to support your friend without feeling like you're keeping secrets.
Tell your husband that you're angry with the friend... So angry that it might impact on your relationship because you don't want him around. Ask that he doesn't tell you what the friend says. There's nothing wrong with what the friend is saying. I understand your reaction though.
Even if the relationship just ended between them both, it's likely its been over for him for a while. There is no right amount of time to move on, unless he did so, before he ended the relationship.