Father does not coparent 16yo. Parent alienation

I’m just about to sign consent orders which i feel are failing my 16 yo however he has chosen to live with his father. My only option is court but my son will be 18 by the time it goes through.

The Father is financially, emotionally and mentally abusive and has alienated the children from me. Two are adults but I do feel their pull towards his demands and control is still there.

I’ve spent two years with lawyers whilst the father drags out the process refusing to provide financials, refuses to coparent, refuses a parenting plan. In mediation the only thing I could get over the line was allowing me time with my son on special days. And even that is if my son chooses to.

For example: son chooses to go out drinking yesterday instead of spending time with his mother. The father knows he is drinking underage, the father does not encourage our son to have a relationship with me. Our son returns to father’s care intoxicated. They all lie to me.

How does a mother accept this? All my children lie to me. Yet the 16yo claims he’s living with the father because I’m abusive. Father has made false claims, exchanging this through lawyers and I have made the decision I need out of this toxic cycle. He is damaging our children. The only way I see I can protect them now given their age is to step aside and finalise my matters and no longer fight for my children.

How can the father be made accountable for the underage drinking? This is a major concern for me. The father is an alcoholic and recreational drug user. He has no rules.

Will local enforcement look yesterday’s event where our son was in a public bar drinking underage? Am I wasting my time? I just feel I’m not doing the right thing by my son.

I have an IVO against the father. I do not want to initiate any contact. He will lie anyway. He will also turn the children against me and create drama between me and the children.